“When you work a nine to five job and complain about the pizza being late, you’ll never know how it is to be over here.”

Well, I couldn’t resist. My response to L. Cho:

Dear Lynda,

I am most excited to hear about this financial opportunity! As I’m sure you can understand, I am having some trouble believing that you are telling the truth about all of this - are you pulling my leg? i would prefer if you didn’t not pull my leg. I am most gratified to hear about the death of Engr. J Lawler in the recent tsunami as I am very much in debt and this money will help me get out of debt. I am sure God did it on purpose to help me like I prayed for him to do. However, as I am the person who prayed to God for money (and hence responsible for the death of Engr. J Lawler), I feel that a more fair split of the funds would be 50/50, and eagerly await your response.

-M. Snay

And I am, eagerly, awaiting her response.

Well, you just knew it was going to happen - over a hundred thousand dead in Asia, and all those con artists are drooling over a way to make a quick buck. Y’remember those Nigerian scams, where someone would send an e-mail claiming to be a representative of a Nigerian bank in which one of your dead ancestors just happened to have a large amount of cash?

From: “URGENT REPLY NEEDED” cho_lynda@hotmail.com

To : snay@malnurturedsnay.net

Date : Mon, 7 Feb 2005 19:46:43 +0700

Subject : URGENT REPLY NEEDED

Dear Sir
I am a staff with Overseas Credit Commmission. My Name is Mrs Lynda Cho, i’m giving you an impression information about my Company here in Bangkok Thailand. In my department, we discovered and abandoned sum of US$10.500,000 (ten million, Five hundred thousand United States Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer Engr. J Lawler who died along side with his entire family on 26 December 2004 in Tsunami Disaster.
Since we got the information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin or relation to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as his next of kin or relation as indicated in our Company guide. Unfortunately, we found out that all his surposed next of kin or relations died along with him at the Earthquake and Tsunami Disaster. therefore,some officials and myself in the department now decided to make business with you and release the money to you as his next of kin or relation, since nobody is coming for it and we don’t want this money to go back into Company treasury account as unclaimed bill. The Company’s law and guideline here stipulates that such money remained unclaimed after one year, the money will be transferred into Company’s treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of a foreigner as his next of kin in this business is highly needed by the fact that the customer was a foreigner.
We agreed that 30% that is negotiable of this money would be for you as a foreign partner. and 70% will be for i and my collegues. Please be honest to me.therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of the fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the Company as next of kin to the late costomer. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application with the full name of the man and his country and other information about him. After the fund have been approved, you will be requested to sign for the fund release order and for onward remittance into your account. Note this transaction requires utmost confidentiality. And I am assuring you that it is 100% risk free so you need not to be afraid. I expect a positive response from you soonest.

Best regards,
Mrs Lynda Cho.

I’m thinking of replying - something witty and sarcastic, y’know? Have some fun with it …