Apparently, police departments are having a tough time hiring qualified candidates.

Truelove says the monkey, which alone would cost $15,000, could become the ultimate SWAT reconnaissance tool. Capuchins are small, weighing between 3 and 8 pounds, have tiny humanlike hands and puzzle-solving skills. He said the monkey could be trained to unlock doors and search buildings.

A woman who left her home in the temporary care of a couple returned to make a gruesome discovery in the refrigerator: a pot containing the remains of what appeared to be a cooked cat.

Y’know, for all my indignation at Ted Nugent, these are a couple of fuckin’ charm school candidates I wouldn’t mind using as moving targets.

When you label people with a broad brush, you tend to miss a lot of folks in the cracks. So for a country of three-hundred million folks, seperating everyone into political groups of “liberal” and “conservative” tends to be problematic, because unless you’re a total whore to “your” party, very few folks fit comfortably into the less-than-general labels you’ve assigned for them.

My “general” label is as a liberal. But I’m one of those weird small-government, state’s rights liberals. Plus, I like guns.

There are certain folks who are very militaristic about owning weapons. They’ve usually got a bomb shelter stocked with a year’s worth of food under their home and talk about United Nation troops overruning the US military and conquoring the nation. Most folks are — a tad — less militaristic about the situation. I mean, it’s almost fair to say that a firearm is a tool, similiar in many respects to - for example - a fire extinguisher. Of course, there’s a big difference between a fire extinguisher and a firearm - one’s purpose is to put out a fire, and the other’s ultimate purpose is to end a human life.

Which isn’t for a minute to say that a firearm’s only use is to kill. Just as you could use a fire extinguisher to club an intruder with, or a maglite as a hammer, firearms can be used for hunting, decoration, reassurement, insurance, and intimidation. Of course, there’s a lot more to using a firearm than a fire extinguisher or a hammer — a firearm owner needs to be versed in the local and state laws regarding how and why he may use a firearm, particularly those concerning self-defense. The point being that if the situation ever arises where you have the need to point a firearm at a person in defense of yourself or your family, if you use the weapon inappropriately, you’re facing a heap of legal trouble.

(Plus, when the zombies come marching, what would you rather be armed with? A cricket bat or a .45?)

So, briefly, my basic opinion regarding firearm ownership is that a law-abiding citizen should be allowed to purchase and carry a firearm if they so desire.

So I was a little dismayed when I read about some comments made by rocker Ted Nugent in encouraging gun owners to disregard the law and to use their weapons to turn themselves into vigilantes: “To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want ‘em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot ‘em.”

Hey, Ted? Owning a gun doesn’t give anyone the right to circumvent the court system, and someone comitting a crime doesn’t give a gun owner a warrant to kill them. Oh, and when you shoot some dipshit for lifting a pack of gum from the corner store, don’t be surprised when you’re brought to court for it, because you seem pretty fuckin’ out of touch with, I dunno, reality?