Or, How I Blew The Interview

I don’t actually know that I blew the interview, but I think that its a bad sign that I met with the UPS recruiter at 9:15 and still got home by ten. Did I, uh, mention that I live in Timonium and the interview was at Arundel Mills?

I really wish I’d had the other guy — I could hear him behind me, and he was asking his interviewee good questions that if I’d been asked I could have given good answers for.

Instead, after perhaps sounding overconfident, my recruiter at one point said, “You don’t actually think this is like delivering pizzas, do you?”

The interview itself lasted — I don’t know — five minutes? She spent a lot of time looking at my application, asking me questions such as “How many hours a week do you work? Do you know how to drive a standard transmission? Ever driven a big truck? Do you know you’ll have to work in the elem - well, you deliver pizzas, so I guess you do that already.”

Plus, I’d forgotten all of the questions I wanted to ask her about the job — the one I’d remembered she’d already answered in her opening bit — so I left feeling that the impression I’d given was unprepared and unqualified.

I was told that no job offers would be made until the background checks are completed, and that those take one and a half to two weeks. So, maybe I’ll have some good news in one and a half to two weeks. For now, I just wish I could go back in time an hour and get my interview with the other guy.

In Good News: this red tie looks effin’ sharp.

(Before the interview I used the men’s room at the food court and took advantage of the scale to weigh myself. Cripes! I’ve gained twenty-five pounds since the last time I weighed myself. It’s a water and rice-cake diet for me.)