Remember Maureen Faibish? She’s the woman who left her twelve-year-old son alone in a home with two pit bulls she thought were violent. Not surprisingly, when she came home, her kid was dead (and you can bet it wasn’t a pleasant death). Yesterday she was arrested on charges of child endangerment.

I don’t understand - why didn’t they arrest her eleven days ago?

Three boys who disappeared Wednesday and were the subject of a massive search effort were found dead Friday in the trunk of a car parked in a driveway next to the yard where they were last seen.

The boys had vanished from the yard next to Anibal’s home. Elba Cruz, Anibal’s mother, said she was watching the boys play in the yard when she went inside for a few minutes. When she returned, the boys were gone.

As tragic as this is, I can’t help but suspect that it was a prank gone horribly* wrong. Y’know, “Let’s hide in the trunk from our parents, then surprise them!” Only, instead of popping the trunk and jumping out shouting “Boo!” they couldn’t get the trunk open once inside.

*Clearly!

After yanking their heads out of their collective asses, officials at the Justice Department realized that hanging drapes over half-naked statues was only preventing pre-adolescent boys from fantasizing about having sex with the afore-mentioned statues, and wasn’t really the answer to the alledged crumbling moral values of early 21st century America. After removing the drapes, and wanting to turn their attention back to the War on Terrorism, those afore-mentioned officials than proceeded to flog every medical marijuana user in the greater Washington D.C. metropolitan area.

In other news, this artwork - while certainly a representation of the crumbling moral values of early 21st century America — is pretty cool and should be printed out and proudly displayed in your home. If you’re willing to look at the little pictures and ignore the big one, it could even be used for alone time fun. However, that would be tremendously creepy.

Tom Cruise killed her, apparently. If that link to the video of her shocking caught-on-camera death doesn’t load, this one seems to load considerably easier.

HT: AS.

Okay, so I lied about the “before” part. This post is all about the after*. So, in keeping with the tradition of the Bedroom & the Den, here go ye:

Kitchen!

*This was easy - emptied the trash can, unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned the mat under the cat dishes, and cleaned the microwave. Also, threw out moldy cheese from the fridge and found a home for the 24-pack of bottled water that had been left on the floor for the last three days.