… Hell?

It generally has all the factors I like about working. Me and only one other driver. Busy. Ross running the shift. Usually a good formula to make cash. Not last night. Last night was … well, look above.

The thunderstorm didn’t help any. Jacksonville/Phoenix is a very rural area — stretches of farms as far as the eye can see, dotted randomly with McMansions and the oddly placed trailer. Rows of corn give way suddenly to hints of suburbia and you’re just as likely to encounter a brand new H2 or a Porsche on the winding back roads as you are a tractor or some other ridiculously oversized farm vehicle. The delivery area itself is roughly as large as Baltimore City, yet there are only four traffic lights, four gas stations, and no roads wider than two lanes. There are at least a dozen one-lane bridges, and most roads are through heavily forested areas with large beautiful trees that shield drivers from the glaring sun.

Of course, on nights like last night it means that there were large branches littering the pavement, and it made driving a bit more treacherous. Plus, of course, everyone and their mother decided to order pizza, and what with traffic + weather the result was super long delayed deliveries.

I would like to thank the people who could see the weather and weren’t (too) upset when I arrived with their food over an hour after they’d ordered it. Most of them tipped very well, even the lady who had no power. They made up for the rest of the night.

On the customer side, thanks to the lady up off Glen Elyn who gave me an evil look and didn’t tip me. “That’s for being late,” she told me. Thanks for being a bitch, I thought about telling her. Little did she understand - she normally only tips a buck, and while I would have liked that buck, it’s not like she’s really hurting my earnings, y’know? Plus, the next time she orders, her pizzas going to sit in my trunk — out of the hot bag — while I take all the other deliveries I’m also routed with.

Also, to the asshole who has the three mile long driveway? I don’t mind having to stop my car to move big branches out of my way, but the least you can do is tip more than a buck when I get to you. I don’t even think you did it to be mean, I think you just did it to because you don’t know better. By the way, when you set out today in that nice flashy sports car, I hope you notice the excellent job I did putting all of those branches back across your driveway.

I am very glad last night is over.