i should not be allowed to post comments to peoples blogs when i’m drunkalthough i thibk I do a reasonable job of keepuing the drunk-induced-speling mishaps to ma not so unvisible zro mayne4 not

he Found us but I don’t know why he cant sit up staIGHT like a normal personb whats with the on the side shit

… even though he runs around the galaxy in the newest and gaudiest space-clothing offered by Abercrombie-and-Fitch’s most up-to-date sexathon – er, I mean catalogue – and drives the flashiest, most expensive and fuel-guzzling star cruiser in the entire universe – and that paint scheme! My god, that’s a custom job, that ain’t standard on that ship, no sir! But of course, he wouldn’t be Vance Quadtrum if he couldn’t rub your face in his wealth – which is why he has a (IKEA decorated, can’t you tell?) home on the most expensive Moon property there is on the entire … well, Moon. And if that isn’t enough, he bought a second lot, just to park his effin’ ride.

I hate effin’ Vance Quatrum.

(Nice creation, Jamie).

… creepy tombstone, whatevah.

Good god, what happened to me? It’s like I went from “Blog Whore Supreme” to “Pre-Content Challenge JWER” overnight.

That’s sort of to be expected — spending a lot of time on another hobby this weekend, keeping it under wraps for now (the project, not the hobby), something I’d been thinking about doing for a long time and finally decided to start working on it. I’m about as far as I can get on it for now — and, on a personal note, I think it looks fuckin’ fantastic. Waiting on a Bricklink order to arrive (hopefully soon), and hopefully I’ll have it to show ya’ll soon.

Here’s a hint:

***

I’ve been dog-sitting for this guy (The Mysterious Mister N.) while he’s been in Iceland for two and a half-weeks. Pila was quite a mess – peeing and vomiting all over the place. Ate two house plants and destroyed a vase.

Payment for house sitting was N.’s Jeep Wrangler. I enjoyed it thoroughly, although I’d been hoping to knock the odometer over the 17,000 marks. I put roughly 700 miles of hard driving on the Jeep, so I’d say I got my fun out of it. I’d been planning a little surprise for Mr. N on his return to Baltimore yesterday evening. I was going to leave a note for him on his door, “Mr. N., I regret to inform you that I will not be able to return your Jeep to you in one piece.”

See, because two pieces of the Jeep – the doors – would be in his basement. Then I’d return the rest of the Jeep to him … whenever. Unfortunatly, I had to work tonight, so while the doors stayed inside his home (the dining room), I was not able to give him a good scare. He called me last night and I related this to him, and he paused for a moment, then said, “Y’know, after a day of travel, coming home to that … I think I probably would have introduced you to my friend, Mr. Benelli.”*

He’s such a jokester.

PS – Mr. N., please note that the blue bowl in your sink – which was removed from your dishwasher – was used so that Pila did not have to eat her wet dog food from the can. Figured Alpo isn’t anything the dishwasher can’t clean good as new, and couldn’t figure where you other yellow lab-food-able bowls might be.

***

There are a bunch of insiders at the franchise job in high school or just graduated. One of them, Ryan, looks exactly like Daniel Radcliffe. Another, Elliot, has bright red hair. Anyway, today, at shift change, Elliot (who is running some day shifts), me, and Ross had a brief discussion about the newest Harry Potter book (technically, Ross doesn’t read them, he listens to the audio books). I mentioned to Elliot Ryan’s resemblance to a certain Boy-Who-Lived, and Elliot’s eyes widened, “OH MY GOD YOU’RE RIGHT!”

“Doesn’t that make you a Weasley, then?” Ross inquired of Elliot.

An hour or so later, bored out of mind, I began changing names on the schedule. I changed Ryan’s to “Harry Potter”, Elliot’s to “Ron Weasley”, and Greg (the owner’s) to “T. Riddle.” On a whim, I changed Zebulon’s name to Hermoine (hey, he’s got the hair) and Ogre’s to “Neville L.”

Ogre, recently returned from vacation to Florida or some other place with a lot of sun and heat (coulda just stayed here) mumbled about his name change when Ross was trying to check him out, “So now I’m N-ee-vil, am I?” (That’s how he pronounced it).

At this point, Ogre shoved his foot into his mouth for the umpteenth time. He’s really quite good at it, I must admit. “Harry Potter is for twelve year olds.”

Mind you, the person saying this once bragged that he spent some ridiculous amount of money on a computer for the sole purpose of viewing porn. The only reading he ever does is of the articles in porno-mags (or, at least, he keeps claiming “I buy them for the articles.”)

I think Ogre preforms opinions on certain things that he honestly doesn’t care about just so he can involve himself in unrelated discussions. Once, when he’d just started working here, I was talking to a guy named Mike B. about tv box sets on DVD when Ogre walked up and somehow changed the conversation to how people who don’t believe in God shouldn’t spend American money since it has printed on it “In God We Trust.”

Of course, if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you probably know what I think of Ogre. (Minus the martial arts crap).

What I Should Have Said to Ogre, “Oh, so it’s on your level is it?”

I did not say this for a few reasons. Primarily because Greg asked me to back off Ogre. Prior to Ogre’s vacation, he and I had been engaged in an escalating series of confrontations. I’ll say what I said to Greg — it’s frustrating to work on a busy night, trying to get as many of your closing duties done as you can between deliveries, only to come back and find out that even though all you have to do is mop, you can’t because the guy who is supposed to have swept the floor – Ogre – hasn’t because he’s been in the back munching on four-hour old cheesesticks. Oh, and he’s also got back from his last delivery an hour ago. Extraordinarily frustrating. So, out of respect to Greg, I kept my mouth shut.

The second reason is that really, I don’t find much childish about Harry Potter. Maybe the first book, a little bit, but they’re still better than any of Tom Clancy’s technomanuals, and far and away better than anything Stephen King’s put out lately. Susanna Clarke’s “Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell” was on-par, and “The Historian” was a considerable let down.

In any case, about a second after Ogre’s pronouncement, Ross swiveled away from the office desk and fixed his eyes on Ogre. Ross is a tall guy, with a great bushy beard. Bump into him in a forest and you might think he’d be living in a shack playing with explosives. Really, he’s a big playful goof, and his nephews and nieces (whom he lives with) probably call him “Chewbacca” because he bears a certain resemblance to the big walking carpet. Ross addressed Ogre simply, “Are you saying I read at a twelve-year old’s level?”

Remarkeably, Ogre, who generally hangs around the store for hours after he’s checked out, was gone within five minutes. Woohoo for Ross!

(*That entire quote — or at least, the vast slim majority of it — was made up.)

Star Wars: Episode III The Revenge of the Sith

Wanna guess what hits theaters just over two weeks later … ?

My thoughts last week be dammed, not exactly “Die Hard in space” was this episode.

As with “Scattered”, the episode follows multiple points of view. The primary story arc is concerned with a Cylon raiding party aboard Galactica, but we also visit with Starbuck and Helo on Caprica (Starbucks drives a humvee), and the stranded crew of Raptor 1 on Kobol.

Generally, a lot of tv shows will have an episode that can best be described as “Die Hard” … for example, in Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s “Starship Mine”, Captain Picard takes on the John McClane role. Replace the MP5 with a phaser, and terrorists after gold with terrorists after something from the warp core, and you’ve essentially got the plot, which involved Picard running around the Enterprise clobbering people with – among other things – a saddle.

But this isn’t that for Battlestar Galactica, not by a long shot. There are only two combat sequences, and they’re both over with rather quickly. The best parts of the episode come not from the combat, but rather, the race against time — see, Tigh’s familiar with the Cylon tricks (he’s fought them before), and knows they’re trying to get to the aft damage control where they can ventilate the ship to space. Enter Apollo and a ragtag group of Viper pilots, Marines, and technicians, who race to intercept the last few Cylons before they can finish their deadly mission. Also throw in – just for fun’s sake – the ousted President Roslin, her aide, and a couple of random crewmembers (including the Marine I mentioned here as being a new recurring character, he got a name but I forgot to make note of it) trying to reach sickbay and instead straying directly into harm’s way. In good news, though: Dualla and Billy have dirty-dirty sex in sickbay!!!!! (In bad news: we don’t get to see them have sex. I’d've settled for a shot of Dualla’s boobs.)

What makes the threat of the Cylons so awesome is the status of the ship – main power is out, backup power is sporadic. Exterior shots show Galactica slipping out of alignment with the civillian fleet and “falling” clear. Inside the ship, corridors are littered with boxes and crates and dead bodies everywhere. Lighting is provided almost entirely by flashlights mounted to the Marines’ weapons or the dull glow of a console on a crewmember’s face. And in the background — gunfire, and the rythmic step of the Cylon centurion’s cold, metal feet as they march onward. The episode doesn’t quite work on a horror film level, but its certainly suspenseful and well worth the watching.

We don’t see Boomer this episode, although Starbuck and Helo have it out about his releationship with her. Tyrol’s decision to end the life of his crewman despite all he, Callie, and Tarn went through (Tarn got killed) is particularly harsh but well played.

There’s a frantic pace to this series which is so often missing in other hour-long dramas. There’s a sense of urgency – we don’t move, we die type of deal. Paul’s Blog is right when he writes, “WOW! They’re going places with this [series].” It’s going to be a hell of a fun journey … (already is)!

Upcoming:

The crew of Raptor 1 might be rescued next week, but I think it’ll be a long time before Starbuck and Helo are back aboard Galactica. If they ever get back, that is. Roslin looks like she’s shit-out-of-luck at being reinstated any time soon, but that’s okay because Richard Hatch is back next week as sly-villain Tom Zarek.

… I had a long post thought out in my head, but I’ve got to get to work soon and I need to get some laundry started, and a cycle of dishes and …

MoveOn.org doesn’t like him, calling him a “right wing corporate lawyer and ideologue for the nation’s highest court instead of a judge who would protect the rights of the American people.”

But the Right doesn’t like him that much either – Ann Coulter called him a “Rorschach blot” in a post filled with her typical angry rant.

Lee has a well-reasoned response to Coulter, “See, what Coulter and so many other members of the conservative movement is not a judge who will refrain from judicial activism, just one who will be activist for causes the conservatives happen to believe in. In other words, legislating from the bench is perfectly acceptable in their eyes, just as long as the legislation isn’t geared to the left.”

Andrew Sullivan has a couple of pro-liberal views on Roberts.

I haven’t made my mind up yet, this is all just giving my brain things to chew on.

… I don’t know what, or who, but it explains two things:

One, why the Baltimore County Police Department was posting “No Parking” signs on telephone poles, and Two, why that “Star Trailer” has a California license plate.

I’m also assuming, that since it is a California license plate, this isn’t just The Wire doing some Timonium filming.

… might as well take the time to mention Harry Potter & The Plastic Brick, particuarly since I found this on Brickshelf today.

The creator seems to be going for a representation of the movie-version of the castle, what with the tan bricks and all. The tower-caps are off, however – they should be a sand green, not black. I also nitpick with his use of green to represent the mountain Hogwarts is perched above – for my own preference, I would choose a dark gray brick scheme to better illustrate rock.

It’s hard to find reason to complain with the scale of the creation – this thing looks huge and is a sprawling representation of the castle. I particularly like the detail of the Great Hall.

This is the second “big” (and excellent) version of Hogwarts I’ve seen. Wanna see the first? Oooh!

Whereas the castle at the top of the post uses too little color, this one – I think – uses too many. Also, it splits Hogwarts into two different buildings, and splitting the cliff into light and dark gray pieces makes it a tad too confusing for my old and creeky self.

Allison Seltzer and I had discussed building a version of Hogwarts similar to those above. Of course, we discussed this the summer after the first movie had come out and we’d both been lounging around my apartment watching it time … after time … after time. We even drew up schematics … the castle proper would be perched on a “mountain” considerably higher than either of those two, and we were going to make an effort to put every detail of the castle into the construction. Of course, this never wound up happening, and who knows where she is now?

So when I found that on Brickshelf I smiled wistfully and remembered.

Looks cool, but I’m trying to cut down my spending, so maybe I’ll just shave the writing off the keys of the keyboard I’ve got now, right?

Coat Check: Quantum Sagas.

One thing I enjoy about watching movies at N.’s place is that the basement gets so dark its hard to be distracted by stuff. When I watch a movie at my place, I’ll pause it half a dozen times to go to the kitchen, the bathroom, or just putz around on the internet. It’s hard to totally escape, y’know?

So I’m thinking off trying to “black out” my living room. The big problem is the front window. I’m on the ground level, and my windows overlook the parking lot. When people come home late, their headlights illuminate my humble abode. I’ve already got Landlord-Installed-and-Owned blinds on the windows … they’re okay, but insufficient. I want to mount a curtain so I can cover the windows more effectively. I was thinking about something like this for IKEA (ok, can’t find it on the online site but its in the catalogue … two mounting points with a heavy cord between them) … two of them, actually. One to mask off the insufficient-parking-lot blinds, the other to hang at an angle from the kitchen wall connecting to the hall-wall so I can have a big, nice, blacked-out movie theater.

Well, as nice as a 25″ screen movie theater can be.

… that less than a week from its release to the bookstores, there’s already a tentative release date for Harry Potter And the Half-Blood Prince listed on IMDB. In pre-production already? Dear goodness!

… but it honestly seems like “Man on Fire 2: British Guy Kicks More Ass Than Denzel Washington”.

… when the one day I absolutely positively (yes, I know I spelled that wrong) need to have off for … I forgot to request off for. No big (I hope). I think I can get it covered …

In any case, with less than a week to go:

July Baltimore Bloggers Happy Hour

Organized by her, and her.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

5:30pm-whenever

Nick’s Fish House

Also, everyone e-mail this guy and give him your cell phone number so he has no excuse to not show.

(We gotta get another photo of him in that same pose with a big goofy grin and an empty bottle of beer in his hand).

UPDATE:

No fear! I’ll be there!