Sometimes nice drivers are worse than asshole drivers.

Asshole drivers – they don’t use turn signals, they flash the finger at you when they’re at fault, they get pissed when you’re only doing sixty on a 45-mph road because they’ve had to slow down from 100 mph.

Nice drivers, well, gosh, it’s like slugging the boy scout who comes to the door trying to get donations so midgets can fly to Vegas and enjoy the brothels. Rather not be bothered, but can’t exactly get away with sluggin’ the fucker, y’know?

This evening, the roads were wet with rain. I was trying to make a left hand turn off of Manor Road. An individual in a Volkswagen was facing me, trying to make a right hand turn off of Manor. We both had stop signs, north and south traffic had no such restriction.

An opening appeared — no traffic from the north, a truck leading vehicles from the south. I’ve been making turns from here for some time, I know that if the Volkswagen moves now, I can get out in time behind it, and all’s good. But the Volkswagen ain’t moving. Ain’t fucking moving. And as my eyes scan across the grille and up the hood, I see why. The driver is motioning to me to go.

I’m not stupid, horse’s mouth and all, I gave my car some gas, the tires skidded a bit, and I was southbound.

But, if the driver had done what was expected of them and gone, I still would have been southbound.

One of the things that makes asshole drivers so assholeish is their inability to be predictable. You know, they’re cruising along at seventy miles per hour and then they slam on their brakes and make a hard left into your direction of travel. The problem is that drivers who intend to be nice are making the same error — if it’s your turn to go, go.

Gary nearly killed a nice driver once. Further south on Manor Road, Dulaney Valley dead ends, creating a three way intersection. There are two stop signs — northbound Manor has right-of-way. One nice spring morning several years ago, Gary was northbound in his big monster pick-up, with a fully-loaded trailer behind him. The woman in front of him slammed on her brakes at the intersection to allow a vehicle from DVR to make a left onto Manor.

The problem is, of course, that Gary had been doing a nice clip of speed, keeping pace behind the woman in front of him. And if he’d been in just his pickup, no problem, he could’ve stopped — he would’ve been pissed, no need to slam on the brake if she’d obeyed the traffic pattern, y’know?, but he could’ve done it, safely.

Instead, he’s got a trailer that isn’t going to stop. He’s probably going to wind up crashing into the nice lady who decided to slam on her brakes. He wound up stopping the truck and the trailer, but it was a nearly avoided accident which occured because an individual — well intentioned, yes — became unpredictable.

To the person in the Volkswagen: Thank You. But, please, not again.