You are a Social Liberal (80% permissive) and an… Economic Liberal (25% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Democrat Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Last time I did this I was over with Ghandi … doh!

If there’s one reason you should listen to Ed Norris’ afternoon talk show on WHFS 105.7, it’s that the man pulls no punches. Discussing this story on the air, in which Virginia State Police pulled over a convoy of emergency vehicles from New York heading for New Orleans, Norris’ heated and angry response: “We didn’t treat them bad enough after the war!”

This response is wrong, of course - none of the people currently living in the south had anything to do with the Civil War. Still, it’s nice he’s politically incorrect n’ all. Makes for an entertaining show.

Sometimes after working at the franchise, I go to my buddy Chris Z’s house nearby. There are usually a bunch of people over there vegging out in front of the tv or playing X-box. Last night was an X-box night, and I totally got my ass handed to me in four-way Helo (I was quite proud of one instance where I threw some grenades and killed the other three, but then I got shotgunned like instantly and … well … eh.)

Leaving work, I brought over some wings — nothin’ fancy, twenty wings in hot sauce with some ranch and bleu cheese dipping cups. Well, there were five people and four X-box controllers, so what happened was that we rotated playing, and the person not playing went and munched on wings (I strongly suspect double-dipping to have taken place).

Chris has a gray cat named “Lee.” It might be named “General.” He had a black cat named either “General” or “Lee”, and now he has a gray cat named whatever the black cat wasn’t. I can never keep it straight, I’m going to call it “Lee” because “Lee” is shorter than typing “‘Lee’ or ‘General’”. Anycase, Lee’s a fun cuddly kitten. Lee apparently also likes wings and kept trying to get up on the kitchen table. This is a pain because no one wants to eat wings that’ve been licked by a cat.

Eh, I would. But that’s either because I’m not afraid of cat germs as much as I should be, or I’m just too fond of wings.

Anyway, Lee kept getting up on a stool to try to reach the table, so someone finally pulled the stool back from the table. That poor kitten leaned forward as far as she could crying as loudly as she could for some hot wings. Meanwhile, Chris’ dog Potter prowled under the chair looking for some din-din himself — silly dog, wings ain’t for you.

Long story short, all the wings got ate, and we’re all still playing X-box. Meanwhile, it’s getting kind of late and I need to get going so I can make some flash-cards to study. I make noises to that affect, get up, and what do I see? The cat. Standing in the open wing box, licking the fuck out of many destroyed wing remanents. Doh! I picked the cat up, closed the box, and pitched it into the trashcan. Lee struggles out of my grip and climbs onto my shoulder, looking for a place to jump to freedom, I think.

No, I’m informed Lee actually enjoys riding around on people’s shoulders. Her tail is flicking back and forth and she’s quite forgotten that I interupted her meal, she’s gazing at the ceiling fan with this expression of “Duuude…” on her face.

“Get down,” I tell her as I try to shoe her off my shoulder. I lean forward, hoping she’ll get the message but instead she moves to my back, and now I’m over at a forty-five degree angle looking quite hilarious as I tell the animal to “get the fuck off of me right the fuck now.”

Long story short, I figured maybe if I straightened up, she’d get the message. Nope, she hung on for dear life with her rather sharp claws. Ouch.

And getting home I realized she’d left hot-sauce paw marks up and down my white shirt. I hope those stains come out.

I think Netflix smokes crack.

I put this on my queue yesterday. First it was “Will be Released October 4.”

Fine. This morning it was “Available Now.”

When I got home from work it was “Short Wait.”

Now it is apparently “Long Wait.”

Effers.

Almost.

The hopper, a big old oven thing we use to cook subs (it’s older than you are), caught fire at the electrical socket. Luckily, this was before we opened and Gary was in the shop — swatted the cord loose with the pizza peel and then fired up the extinguisher.

So, the ice machine is out of commission, and the hopper needs some work before it’s back in the game. Meantime, I spent twenty minutes trying to mop up the residue from the extinguisher. Gary told me not to work too hard at it — apparently, my mop was the fifth mop job to try to get that shit up.

Any of you others who live or work in the Hunt Valley area, did you notice a massive clusterfuck (well, more massive than usual?) on York and Shawan roads today? I wasn’t on Shawan at all (thankfully), but York Road between Ashland and Shawn was horrible, and I did my best to avoid southbound York from Loveton. At one point, a Baltimore County police officer had to be detoured from other, I’m sure more pressing duties to manage the York and Shawan intersection.

I really wish some of our local government assholes would bother thinking about the traffic patterns before they brought in these massive retailers. But no, and how many days is that intersection going to require a police officer’s attention because it can’t handle the volume? I don’t fucking know, all I know is, I wish Wegmans had gone to Reisterstown or White Marsh, because pretty soon, that Light Rail work is going to be finished, and the traffic congestion in this area is about to fucking explode.

Goddamn Hunt Valley.

***

Also, quick note: at a four-way light, when you’re turning left, you have to yield to oncoming traffic. Namely, me. You’re very welcome, for me stopping, I mean, because if I had hit you, it would’ve been your insurance covering the damage. And please, for the love of Zeus, you’re like sixty, don’t give me a befuddled look like you just learned what “right of way” means.

(Did you?)

… not.