… I mean, besides close to $3,000 in damages and the potential any high-speed chase has for killing innocent motorists?

What an incredible lack of judgement on the part of these deputies.

There was a sheriff at my door just now looking for someone who doesn’t live here anymore. Glad I’m not the previous tenant … its kind of scary talking to a big guy with a chest the size of the Neon, who had to stoop to get into the building, and is carrying a big firearm strapped to his waist.

Seriously, though - I’ve been here for near two and a half years. They waited until now to come looking for this guy?

Sadly, Greg twisted my arm into working tonight. It’s another one of those stupid school nights and Zain quit because he’s fasting, and Ass Alex was able to get off work for a few weeks to go to California, and I’m stuck working.

Well, not all night.

Actually, the first blogger happy hour I ever attended — Wednesday March 16th of this year — was also one of these school nights. In any case, I swung a deal with Greg — see, I’d requested the day off many weeks ago, but he’s kind of panicking, and, y’know, sometimes you just can’t miss an opportunity to brown nose.

So I worked a deal with Greg. The deal is that I’m the first driver out, no questions asked. Generally the opening driver is the first to go, and Greg mentioned this, and I replied: “Uh, since I’m coming in on a day I requested off, hows about you make an exception for me because you love me?”

“I don’t love you, Jeff.”

“No, but you do want me to work Wednesday night.”

“So … first out, eh?”

So I will be late by an at-this-moment undeterminable time. I’m hoping I’ll be out by seven, and at the bar by 7:30. Now that I wrote this we’ll be super busy and I’ll be so tired I’ll pass out in the Neon on my way home and I’ll wreck the car and spend the next week blogging about how I’m wrecking every single car I’m getting into lately.

See you tonight, bloggers and non-bloggers.

This gem:

This is what you write about? who has time in thier day to write a blog about this S#it. I just wasted a few seconds writing about it.

It’s not just the short blurbs that make up my blog, Tiffany. I do have the annoying habit of blogging about cool websites or stupid quizzes or DVD release dates or what not, but that’s easy to do — I’ve got “press it” publishing.

But I also have meaningful content on this blog. I do! It isn’t just all shit! I swear, Tiffany, it’s not. Give me a chance. Please Tiffany.

I want you to love me. Or at least, like me. Maybe a little

… and, y’know, I don’t have time in my “day.” That’s why it’s 12:30 in the a.m. and not 12:30 in the noon.

(Apparently Tiffany also resides in the 21093 zipcode, according to sitemeter. Interesting.)

Well, not quite.

HT: Offixewizard