When I moved into this apartment, the same week, I bought a huge pack of toilet paper from Giant. I forget how many rolls it was, but it was a lot, and it was on sale, and I said “fuck it” because I figured this way I wouldn’t have to worry for a year or so before I ran out of toilet paper. I’ve kept the roll in my linen closet, grabbing replacement rolls of very soft comfortable toilet paper as neccessary. I figured it’d last me a year or two. I’ve been here for two and a half years. It ran out. It ran out. It ran out and I had to use paper towels this morning to wipe my ass. Rough, ow. Ow. In desperation, I stole a roll of toilet paper from work today to keep my ass comfortable until I can run out to the grocery store after work tonight. I left the roll of stolen toilet paper in the car. Figures!

Here’s how it usually goes — run up to the door, knock, customer answers, hand them pizzas “That’ll be $XX.” They hand me X. If they’re paying with a check, credit card, or a bunch of smaller bills, there’s no change back (i.e., if they took the time to count out $18 in singles to pay for a $15 pizza, they’d already have taken out the tip). If they hand me, say, a $20 to pay for a $13 pie, I stuff the $20 in my pocket (later moving it to my wallet and later still, back at the store, to my drop box), pull out my bank (change – a bunch of $5 and $1 dollar bills) and inquire how much they’d like back.

Usually they have an amount in mind. Sometimes they trip me up. The woman last night, who I don’t think I’d ever delivered to before, said, “What’s normal up here?”

I hate that. I mean, people up here routinely tip $4-6, not everyone, but many do. Do I ask for that? I’d feel greedy. On the other hand, I don’t want to screw myself by saying “a couple bucks.”
In the end, I settled for saying “a few bucks” and wound up with three dollars and eighty-eight cents.

I even joked with the lady, “I should’ve said ‘the whole thing’” … and she laughed. I don’t think it was funny. Meh.

Hah-hah! I have groped you!

This is a feeler post – anyone interested in going to see Harry Potter on opening night? That’d be Friday the 18th. I’d feel odd being an adult male going to see it alone on opening night. Anyway.

… of the Nova Taurus.