There’s this commercial airing on the radio. Three voices – two guys and a girl. They’re trying to emulate a morning show’s banter to build buzz for whatever NBC programs are airing that night. It was amusing the first time, I’ll admit — I had to stop and think, “Wait, what station is this? Who are these people?” Now it’s just getting old, plus it doesn’t help that they sound like the most boring, unhip, no life white people ever. (Well, uh, besides me).
Anyway, the commercials tend to go something like this:
Guy 1: “So, uh, what are YOU doing tonight?”
Girl: “I’m staying in and watching TV! NBC.”
Guy 2: “Please continue with the obvious plug!”
Guy 1: “Please tell, what’s so good on NBC tonight?”
Guy 2: “Oh, well, according to the script, there’s the show ‘Medium’, and ‘Law & Order: Manhattan.’”
Guy 1: “Oh, like the new Law and Order is great, isn’t there a digital representation of Jerry Orbach in the cast?”
Girl: “Yes, and on ‘Medium’ it’s the best supernatural show on television ever.”
Guy 2: “Oh, and what’s the show about the water? I’ve never seen that one.”
Girl: “OMG. Like, it’s grrrrreat! It’s called Surface…”
Guy 2: “Like, yeah, with the monsters? That’s so much better than that show with the island on the rival network.”
Guy 1: “Yeah, like, Surface is great, not a rip-off at all, because it has monsters.”
Girl: “OMG. The monsters are grrrreat! I bet they have big monster penises.”
Guy 2: “…and monster vaginas, hah. I made a funny.”
Girl: “I want to have sex with the surface monsters with the giant penises!!”
Ok, I take it back, they don’t go anything like this … but I think the spots would be better if they did. Plus, NBC could tag the commercials with, “…To See Dumb Radio Girl Have Sex With the Monsters, Tune in to Must-See TV Tonight … only on NBC!”
I’d watch but, uh, I’ll be at work.
Ha ha! What in the hell have you been smoking?
Comment by anonymouscoworker — November 14, 2005 @ 10:21 am
Essence of ACW Posting, I suppose.
Comment by MalSnay — November 14, 2005 @ 10:23 am
I know what commercials you’re talking about and I HATE them. The script-readers are such complete dip shits.
“Oh my God. Did you see My Name is Earl last week? Jason Lee is so funny. I could watch this show 24 hours a day. And then watch Medium the other 8 hours in the day.”
“There are only 24 hours in a day, silly! But I would totally watch The Office for 32 hours.”
“That’s because you’re a anti-social freak just like me!”
“You’re right, I can’t even pay a woman to have sex with me!”
That’s how the one *I* heard went. *Bashes head on desk*
Comment by Jen — November 14, 2005 @ 10:49 am
Perhaps it’s some flaw in my personality, but I really am tempted to commit grievous bodily harm when I hear commercials like this.
I can never tell if they intentionally insulting my intelligence to cater to the knuckledraggers in the audience, or if they themselves are just incompetent morons who put forward this kind of disingenuous crap because they can’t manage better.
TV is even worse. Apparently, no matter which car I am to own, it is of paramount importance that I be notified that, if I did buy the Suzuki Grand Cholo Wagon, I could easily perform a base jump from a cliff before I went offroad through the Grand Canyon on the way to work, or that my Lexus SUV will make a segment of metropolis erupt from the earth every where I drive, or that simply touching a Nissan Maxima will send me into a state of pure ecstasy.
Yes, yes, I do grasp the metaphorical aspects of such advertising. I also fully understand that owning a H2 will make my penis seem larger to women.
Comment by hinkertonius minima — November 14, 2005 @ 11:15 am
Those ads, sadly seem to work. We’ve got them here in Chicago as well and they can’t stop running them. The theory behind them is that
A) They don’t immediately sound like commercials and are listened to more carefully
B) They sound like people talking around a water cooler about their favorite shows
C) People want to have their own jobs with water coolers where they can waste time talking about TV
Advertising. Go figure.
Comment by Andy Land — November 14, 2005 @ 3:47 pm