You’ve all wanted it. You know it. Admit it.

So I got a ride done with Neckbone, driving her Liberty. This was because he didn’t want me yakking in his Wrangler, regardless of what he says. Apparently he was wearing a “salmon” colored shirt, it looked yellow is all I can really say. Oh, I can say “pink” … he was wearing a “pink” shirt.

On the ride down, ACW called trying to get me to help him find the bar. He said something about “one way streets.” Would you like to know how I get to Molly’s? 83-south to the 28th Street exit. Get over ASAP and make the first right. Drive until you reach the rowhouses, make a left, then a right, find a place to park and walk in. And ACW expects me to give him directions? I don’t think I was much help which is why he told me to poke Neckbone in the back of the head (with my tippy).

Despite all the buildup I did, somewhat local Delawarian blogger NPR Junkie chicked out. She claims she was sick. I claim she was afraid ACW would kill her and have sex with her corpse.

Broadsheet, eebmore, Mike & Kisch were there when we arrived. Fool and Eric might’ve been there too, or they showed up shortly afterwards. I walked in and immediately started drinking. For the record, I drank:

One Yuengling (before Neckbone & Ice Queenie arrived at my place)
Three Natty Boh’s (thank you, JJT and DD)
One Stella (at Molly’s urging)
and half of another Yuengling (thank you, Jenn) before my stomach said, “Dude, seriously, you’re not that fat, you’ve had your fill and I’m about to burst!” Jennetic screamed when she realized my stomach was talking. Neat trick, ain’t it? It’s conservative so usually I keep a big piece of tape keeping it shut so it can’t scream “BEER GUT FOR BUSH!” when I’m walking down the street.

Zenchick grabbed my left nipple and twisted. Hard. Ow.

j-e-s-s-i-c-a showed up (with her friend Young who I remembered from Slainte’s) and gave me some stunning news: “Jaime is here.” A lot of you don’t know Jaime. Her blog isn’t listed on Blogtimore. It was on the now defunct Crablogs. She rarely updates. Anyway, waaaay back when I first met j-e-s-s-i-c-a at Dizzy Issie’s in March, she mentioned “I didn’t bring Jaime!” and at every happy hour we’ve been at together, it’s something along the lines of, “I tried to convince Jaime to come but she didn’t.” So when j-e-s-s-i-c-a told me, “Jaime’s here”, I spun around because I hadn’t seen anyone dragged through the threshold in chains (which is what I figured it would take to get her to one of these shindigs). Turns out Jaime had arrived earlier and was sitting at a table across from the bar, hiding. Anyway, it was nice to finally meet and talk to Jaime.

JWER & Messy Hair Girl showed up and started making out, Cara and Tracy showed up and started trying to recruit people for kickball or whatever violent activity they’re involved in at the moment. I had visions of my back snapping and started sobbing uncontrollably.

This dude showed up and we had a miscommunication where I was trying to figure out if he was this dude, but then he thought I was that dude. So later, at the bar, we straightened everything out.

I tried to give fruit loops & porn accurate directions from Molly’s to 83, and she posted today, so I’m gathering she found her way.

ACW & I were looking at the jukebox trying to figure out what the Queen song from the climax of Shaun of the Dead is called, and Jaime mentioned she’d seen the movie, but we could none of us figure the name of the song so I had the jukebox play Queen’s “Princes of the Universe” (the Highlander theme), but right when it came on my ride got cranky and wanted to leave. Why do I let a man in a pink shirt tell me what to do?

I think I may have left some stuff, or people, off. If so, hey, comments.

(Also - if anyone knows Tracy’s e-mail address, I’ve been trying to locate it).