Amazon, again.

***

Desperately hunting for a Christmas gift for my Aunt Peggy, and having abandoned my ability to spell somewhere along the way, I braved the horror of Towson Town Center searching for a doll-shop that the stupid internet said was there. Peggy has a doll collection, and is a nurse: I was hoping for a Nurse doll.

No doll shop, no present. Fucking Towson Town Center.

Then, brilliant flash: Peggy loves the old TV-show, Beauty and the Beast! Might, possibly, Amazon have it in its offering? A quick search turned up … yes!

But it said available for pre-order, so I panicked a little, looked at the date … December 31st! Okay, she’ll get it a bit late but I can at least tell her its on the way and she’ll be all happy and …

… wait, what?

This Item Will Be Released December 31st, 1969?!

DAAAAAAAMMIT!

I placed an order December 4th.

On December 6th, Amazon e-mailed me and said that shipping info had been forwarded to UPS and the package shipped.

It is December 12th. According to UPS tracking number, the “billing information” has been recieved, but there are no package scans. No pick-up from the Amazon depot, no sign-ins at various UPS routing facilities.

Amazon’s e-mail: “UPS doesn’t scan each package every time they stop somewhere. It’s on the way. Trust me.”

The delivery estimate was December 12th - 15th. I’ll let ‘em slide until Friday the 16th, then I’m e-mailing them again and they’d better figure out whats going on with the package. I’ve got Christmas gifts I need to get by the 24th, and any other time of the year would be fine for the “give it a few more days…” but not this time of the year, Amazon.com employees! Not this time of the year!

If I ever have five or six million bucks to blow on a really big house, this is the really big house I’m going to blow it on.

Did I say house? I meant castle.