Thus asks USA Today, my first reaction being “I dunno, was it in Mozart’s grave? Because if, say, I opened Grant’s tomb and took out a skull, I’d hope it would be Grant’s, otherwise I could really say ‘Holy crap! Who is buried in Grant’s tomb?”

… and speaking of slacker co-workers, Stereotypical Blonde got an invite to go skiing in the Poconos over the New Year’s Weekend. When all of her attempts to get someone to cover her shifts failed — (Mark related to me, “She said ‘I do favors for you all the time!’ and I replied ‘No you don’t'! and that’s the truth, but really, there were a few favors she knew she could’ve done and I woulda worked her shifts for her.”) — she went anyway.

Gary’s grand experiment in hiring females is, as he announced the day she didn’t show up, over! It also didn’t help his mood that she didn’t show on Thursday, meaning we were short-handed that day and Friday, both of which were fairly steady and required the short-handed insiders (Gary and Joe on Thursday, Gary and Mark on Friday) to work themselves into a near murderous frenzy. Had Stereotypical Blonde walked in that day, I don’t think she’d be alive right now.

Funny ending to the story — much like Yellow Boxers Dude, Stereotypical Blonde apparently thought that because her daddy and Gary are buddies, her job would be safe. I didn’t hear her end of the telephone conversation, I heard Gary’s (which is to say, I heard the office phone being slammed down).

My last day off at the Franchise was Monday December 26th.

My next day off was supposed to be this coming Saturday.

Then Ass Alex, who has already been off for three weeks, called today and informed Steve that he was going to be in Boston for a week longer than he’d originally planned, and wouldn’t be available to work his Saturday rush shift. All this so he could save $50 on a plane ticket.

So now I’m stuck with his five to eight.

On one hand: cool, money. On the other hand: had quasi-plans which are now either delayed or DOA.

At this point, I really think the only thing keeping Ass Alex on the schedule is the fact that we’ve only got six drivers (including him) and staffing is already an issue. On the other hand, hell, he hasn’t worked for a month and we’ve done okay. With the holidays over, and folks heading back to work and college in the next few weeks, business’ll be dropping until the weather warms — take the fucker off the schedule and make the Franchise a happier place to work.

I thought of A Fourth Resolution for this, the new year.

For Resolutions the First, Second, and Third, go here.

“I (also) resolve to keep my apartment in at least a somewhat tidy state of existance.”

Translate that to:

-Take out the trash daily
-Spend short increments of each day doing small cleaning tasks to avoid spending two days in a row involved in a massive cleaning war.
-Put clean clothes away/dirty clothes in hamper
-Change cat litter more frequently (alternative: teach cats to use toilet).