The Library Police put their foot down! “No book for you!” What a scumbag!

Con. 1: “What’cha in here for?”
Con. 2: “Oh, y’know, rape, murder, arson… you?”
Con. 1: “Oh, carjacking, kidnapping, public intoxication… you?”
Shabazz: “Uh… I stole a library book.”
Con.1 & Con.2: “…NEW YORK CITY?”
Shabazz: “…and on my way out of the parking lot, I ran a red light! And I drink milk in a dirty glass!”

HT: Baltimore Crime

Two hundred and thirty one pounds.

A four pound loss since last week, when you’ll remember, I’d actually gained back a pound.

Lookin’ good, Snay, lookin’ good …

A few weeks ago, I was accidently shorted on a tip.

The guy’s total was twenty-two bucks. He had a twenty and a ten and asked for change for the ten when I arrived (before I knew he had a twenty, too). I thought he just wanted change for the ten, so that’s what I gave him (what he wanted was the difference from the $30 for the order). He gave me two, and I thought “oh well, no tip” when what he’d expected was to tip me two bucks.

Long story short, it was a busy Friday night, I made good money, and I didn’t really think about it too much — stiffs happen — until I got back to the store after one run and Steve told me the guy had called back, realized he’d stiffed me, and promised to come to the store the next day to drop off a tip.

Long story short, that Saturday, there was no tip, the guy didn’t show, and I didn’t worry about it too much. Frankly, two bucks isn’t going to make or break me, so why worry about what I cannot control?

So I was very surprised coming into work yesterday to find six bucks in my lockbox. Apparently Frank had a delivery to the same guy’s place yesterday where the very kind man gave him a tip, explained what he’d inadvertently done to me, and then gave him my tip with the instructions to pass it along to me. And so that’s what Frank did — and a good thing, too, because to be bluntly honest, yesterday was dead slow and I was grateful for the extra cash.

But, this is how I’m looking at it — dude was gonna tip me $2. Dude accidently screwed me out of $2. Dude increases tip three-fold because he feels guilty. Moral? Arrange for more people to “accidently” screw me on the tip. Huzzah!

Don’t you love it when you order something with two-day delivery and it ships from Oklahoma, gets scanned in at Baltimore, then somehow winds up in Philadelphia? Geez.