I usually don’t watch the Oscars. Hour upon hour of back-slapping and self-congratulation and “we’re the bestest people ever” wears on my nerves. Besides, I’ve always felt that these award shows are way too politicized (and by “politicized” I mean the same way an office has office politics) and reflect popularity as opposed to talent or quality.

I didn’t watch the Oscars tonight. Well, I watched the intro, and in-between watching episodes of “Homicide”, I’d switch back to the Oscars. I saw Rachel McAdams look totally wooden at the pre-recorded technical awards two weeks ago, I saw Lauren Bacall painfully do her best, I rooted for Jennifer Garner to fall on her ass, and I laughed at some of John Stewart’s quips.

I was very surprised when the Oscars ended close to when they were supposed to (around 11, I think). I say this because the last time I watched Oscars all the way through, I think Whoopi Goldberg was hosting and the show lasted about ten hours.

I haven’t seen most of the movies up for Oscars, so I’m just going to wing this, using my own standards.

Best Actor:

Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote.

Supporting Actor:

Well, I thought Crash was craptastic, I’m not a huge Clooney fan, and I think William Hurt’s a bit of a jerk. But I’ve long seen Paul Giamatti in supporting roles, and I think he’s pretty good at it, so I’m going with him.

Best Actress:

Keira Knightley because she’s smokin’.

Supporting Actress:

Catherine Keener is awesome, and was never in Dawson’s Creek, so I vote for her.

Best Directing:

Steven Spielberg’s a general favorite so I’ll pass on Munich, Crash was awful, I generally don’t like Asian cinema so I’ll pass for now on Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain … I think I’ll have to go with Capote.

Documentary:

I’m going with Street Fight because there was a bit about it on NPR tonight. I really really really liked Murderball.

Best Picture:

My heart tells me Brokeback Mountain will win, but I like violence so I’m going to say Munich and Capote will tie.

Best Screenplay Adaptation:

Even though I haven’t seen Capote, I can’t imagine what a challenge it would be to translate the book In Cold Blood into a film about Truman Capote, and not the events surrounding the murder of the Clutter family.

Best Original Screenplay:

Good Night & Good Luck because McCarthyism still sucks ass.

(If I get half of these right, I’ll be shocked. Shocked!)

*Ring*

“Hello, Indy Shop.”

“Yeah, I’d like to place an order for carryout-delivery.”

“Okay. Did you want that for carryout … or delivery?”

“Yes.”

A tan and dark brown two-tone Jeep Grand Cherokee, late nineties or early two-thousand model. No front license plate (presumeably with Pennsylvannia tags). Being driven by a reckless asshole so impatient that even though I was driving ten to five miles above the speed limit (it varied on that stretch of Jarrettsville Pike between Paper Mill and Merryman’s Mill, from thirty-five up to forty), that he would back off my bumper two to three car lengths, then accelerate, flashing his brights at me, until he was literally so close that if I so much as tapped my brakes, he would be unable to avoid a collision (good thing a deer didn’t jump out).

Too bad I wasn’t able to see his license plate — I would’ve liked to have been able to call the police on him. Then again, driving like that, I’m sure the police are well familar with him.

I kind of wish I’d downshifted as he was making one of his intimidation runs. He’d've wrecked my car, maybe the police’d lock him up on a reckless endangerment charge, I’d've gotten a new car, and I wouldn’t have to worry about getting my Celica through emissions anymore. Scratch that — I wish I had like the James Bond cars do, those trays that come out of the bumper and drop spikes? That’d be sweet.

I really don’t understand why people have trouble leaving two car lengths following distance. This guy had trouble leaving two inches.

From USA Today:

The Army said Saturday it will launch a criminal investigation into the April 2004 death of Pat Tillman, the former professional football player who was shot to death by fellow soldiers in Afghanistan in what previous Army reviews had concluded was an accidental shooting.

Col. Joseph Curtin, an Army spokesman, said the Defense Department office of inspector general had reviewed the matter at the Army’s request and concluded that a criminal probe was warranted.

A Pentagon official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the new investigation has not been formally begun, said it would focus on possible charges of negligent homicide.

Tillman’s mother, Mary, told the Washington Post Saturday that the criminal investigation should have been launched at the onset. “The military has had every opportunity to do the right thing and they haven’t,” she said. “They knew all along that something was seriously wrong and they just wanted to cover it up.”

A report by the Army later found that troops with Tillman knew at the time that friendly fire had killed the football star. Officers destroyed critical evidence and concealed the truth from Tillman’s brother, also an Army Ranger, who was nearby, the report found.

More than three weeks after a memorial service in San Jose, Calif., the Army announced on May 29, 2004, that friendly fire rather than an enemy encounter caused Tillman’s death. However, even at the time of the memorial, top Army officials were aware that the investigation showed the death had been caused by an act of “gross negligence,” the report said.

But would they be reopening the investigation if Pat Tillman hadn’t been famous?