Not for myself, although what with this suspended-registration threat hanging over my head, let me tell you, I’m comin’ close to it … but, no, I’m feeling really sorry for the Reeve family right about now — first their dad dies, like two years ago or so, and now their mother is gone too.

Of course, if their father wasn’t Superman (and hence, famous), I wouldn’t know either of their parents had died, and thus wouldn’t be writing this post.

The fuckin’ thing popped back on ten minutes after leaving Ed’s. I was expecting it. The car’s going back in next Monday for the other sensor. With luck, even if the light comes back on, I’ll be able to get either an extension (I have ten days before my registration is suspended), or a waiver.

Otherwise I think my only other option is to buy a new car. (Ick).

Yes, that’s right — Saturday, I posted my favorite top ten episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and now I’m posting the reverse — the bottom ten most godawful episodes.

The Naked Now

The first regular episode of the entire series and already the writers had no ideas so they stole an episode from the Original Series, inserted the new show’s characters, and filmed it. Horrible. Craptastic. (Best line, Data to Yar: “Yes, I am fully functional.”)

Code of Honor

Take Classic Trek’s “Amok Time.” Add Yar. Add a desperate housewife, and elements of Mormon religion. Result? The series’ second worst episode.

Justice

Y’know those “Don’t Walk on the Grass” signs? Would you do it if they had a “…On Penalty of Death” sign underneath? The Enterprise landing party visits a planet where they really will execute people for walking on the grass … sometimes … at unscheduled surprise intervals … that they don’t tell anyone about. Wesley walks on the grass. Actually, he crashes through glass and crumples a bunch of flowers. If I didn’t like Wil Wheaton so much (damn his blog), I’d say the only way this episode could’ve been “okay” was if Wesley had actually been executed.

Up the Long Ladder

Someone was smoking crack when they wrote this episode. There’s a sub-plot that starts in the teaser, then ends in the first scene of the first act. What the heck is that about? Then you’ve got a jumbled mess with the Enterprise locating two groups of colonists, who of course need each other’s help to survive, but don’t know it. One group is a bunch of Irish farmers, who bring pigs and goats and chickens onto the Enterprise, and whose leader tries to pawn his daughter off by marrying her to Picard (instead, Stud-of-the-Galaxy Riker scores with her). The second group is a bunch of clones who wants to clone the Enterprise’s crew to revitalize their population. Wow. This episode was really bad.

Shades of Gray

Because what’s easier than writing a forty-six minute scripts? Writing a five minute script and flushing it out with scenes from other episodes. Worst. Episode. Of. The. Entire. Series.

Menage-a-Troi

Because, really, who doesn’t want to see Majel Barrett naked? And that’s essentially all this is - an excuse to get the women out of their clothes, watch them perform foreplay on Ferengi, and give Wesley a chance to once a bloody fuck again save the day.

The Outcast

The premise alone is laughable — Riker, with the Kirk-like libido, somehow falls in love with a member of an androgynous species, then spurning women, risks his life and his career to save her … I mean, it … when it is taken for “reeducation” for falling in love with a person with a member, if you take my meaning. This is one of those episodes where Star Trek tries to make a point on an issue — homophobia, in this case — but dances around it so much they should’ve just either not bothered, or had Riker fall in love with a big greasy mechanic named Biff and risk his career to preserve the love he and Biff share.

The Perfect Mate

Horny woman, deisgned to “please”, and who is suposed to be the consort of a warlord, is prematurely “awakened” and wants to sleep with the entire crew of the Enterprise, much to the delight of the entire crew of the Enterprise, and the puzzlement of the audience who is forced to wonder if the show’s writers ever get laid, or if they just enjoy using the show for their sexual fantasies.

A Fistful of Datas

The only thing I can imagine with this episode is that the writers were strapped for ideas, were sitting around watching Clint Eastwood in a spaghetti western, and someone said “Hey, Data could make for a neat Clint Eastwood!” but instead of laughing, everybody else said “Neat-o idea!” This episode is also really bad for utilizing the vastly overplayed “Data malfunctions and threatens the crew” story-idea with the vastle overplayed “the holodeck malfunctions and threatens the crew” story-idea.

Sub Rosa

Apparently because her family is Scottish, Dr. Crusher’s family (maiden name Howard) has been haunted by a ghost/lover creature-thing that brings with it bad luck, but gets to have sex with Gates McFadden’s character, and her character’s mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and so-on and so-forth for centuries. Horny little beast, stupid little show.