MacGuyver Returns!

Priceless.

(Apparently this might’ve aired during the Superbowl. I was working, didn’t see it, so bite me and shut the hell up, eh?)

UPDATE:

der! Link corrected.

Quite often lately, the Ed Norris Show will have a segment where the rising costs of gasoline and heating energy is discussed. Today, a woman called in who claimed to work in healthcare, as a home-care nurse. She said she drove on a regular basis all over the county and was having trouble affording gasoline. She said her mileage compensation had been .31 cents per mile and had not increased to meet her need for now much more expensive gasoline.

First, I am very much of the belief that something if fishy with the increase in gasoline prices. It just don’t jive, y’know what I’m saying? I said something very intelligent on another blog tonight, so I’m going to reword it for this section here: “If the increase in the cost of gasoline is due entirely to an increase in the cost of production, why have the profits grown to record highs?” Clearly, there’s more being added to the price of gasoline than taxes and increased production.

Second, let me say that I am completely sympathetic to individuals who need to use their own personal transportation for work. This makes sense, as I am an individual who uses his own privately owned vehicle for work. I am reimbursed at both shops at a flate rate — one dollar per delivery, regardless of miles traveled. If I take a delivery to the bank across the street, I get a buck. If I deliver to a McMansion nine miles up Jarrettsville Pike, I get a buck.

Today, I took sixteen deliveries combined at both shops. I had filled up before work so I can tell you that my car now, having returned home, has a total of just over one hundred and thirty miles on it. Using this as an average of how many deliveries I took versus how many miles I drove taking them*, I put roughly ten miles on my car per delivery. My car gets an average of thirty-two miles per gallon. Hence, I am reimbursed at a rate of ten cents per mile. Although I did not fill my car up tonight after work as I usually do, the highest price that I saw tonight was $2.959, which means that if I’d filled up my car (4.06 gallons to fill it up, at 32 miles per gallon) at that, I would’ve spent $12.02 to bring my tank back up to full. What this demonstrates is that at a reimbursement rate of ten cents per mile, I use .75 cents to pay for gas and the rest (that entire quarter) goes into my pocket.

If I were reimbursed for gasoline at a rate of .31 cents per mile, as this woman is, my mileage compensation for today would’ve been forty-dollars and thirty-cents. I could have used less than one-third of my mileage compensation to fill my tank, and pocketed the rest of the money.

True, this assumes that the woman in question drives a car with reasonable gas economy. Also true, even if she’s driving a truck and it only gets ten miles to the gallon at a reimbursement rate of .31 cents per gallon, she’s still not paying for any gasoline out of her own pocket. It’s nice when gas prices are lower because than I get to use a bigger chunk of my mileage compensation to supliment my income. But as long as my mileage compensation covers my gas expenses, I’m not going to get too fritzy about it.

And if I were compensated at a whopping thirty-one cents a gallon? I’d be laughing my way to the bank.

*It’s not very accurate — I had forty-five miles on my car with seven deliveries at the Indy, versus eight-five miles on my car for nine deliveries at the Franchise. Plus, I drove home from working at the Indy, then back to work to the Franchise, then back home from work at the Franchise.

A great design from Chris Giddens …

… inspired by the Planet Express?

I think “yes.”

My bedroom window faces east, which means each morning I wake up to my bedroom flooded in bright light (even with the blinds down and closed). In the summer particularly, it makes staying asleep difficult. As a result, I begin waking up earlier and earlier. Today, I woke up at about 8:30. Because I’m waking up earlier, I get tired earlier than I would otherwise, so I’ll probably go to sleep no later than 12:30 this coming morning. Cause & Effect, don’t'cha know.

I’m not really a “morning” person versus a “night owl.” As long as I get eight hours of sleep I’m good to go. Rationalizing: I think it’s smart for me to keep to this schedule, particularly as I have some early classes at Towson next semester.

As I write this, I’ve got a toothbrush jammed in my mouth. As you might guess, I’m also using two hands to type. On occasion, I stop typing, and use one hand to brush. Then I go back to two handed typing with this brush projecting from my mouth like a plastic blue and white cigar. I’ll keep at it like this until the toothpaste starts burning my gums.

I don’t have to be at work for almost two hours. Plenty of time to be productive, and I think I’m going to clean out my car. It’s going into Ed’s Garage on Monday. For one thing, that check engine light popped back on. I really liked not having it on, even if it only lasted for a month. I’ve driven years with the light on, yet this time, I can’t quite adjust to seeing it bright and yellow on my dash again. Hopefully Ed will work his magic again and it’ll dissapear. In addition, my brakes are feeling funky, and I’m hoping he can work his mojo and save me some cash.

My car is a mess. I have clothes and jackets across the back seat, and the floor is littered with empty styrofoam cups and 20oz bottles of soda. I might even get fancy and wipe down the dash and console. Maybe, if I’m really productive, I’ll even take it to the car wash.

I have a sports car. It’s supposed to be clean and shiny. I never should’ve bought a sports car — I’m really bad at keeping it clean and shiny. I mean, y’know, it’s always been the mechanical aspects of the vehicles I’ve owned which has been paramount concern to me. Yeah, I suppose it’d be neat if I could eat off the hood of my car, but what good would that do to me when it was time to earn some bucks and the damn thing won’t start? Not very much!

If I’d thought of it earlier, I could’ve got in a load of laundry. I mean, I’ve got enough clean clothes to survive me until Saturday, but I guess this means I’ll have to do it tonight when I get out of the franchise.

Has anyone noticed Blogtimore hasn’t updated?

Need to self-motivate to get showered and get to work …