Considering its a tv show with my last name (or I’ve got the last name of a tv show?), I don’t remember much about the ABC sitcom “Benson.” I think I might’ve watched it with my parents — it premiered in 1979, shortly after my first birthday (according to a quick Google search*). This is what I remember about the show:

The titular character, Benson, is played by Robert Guillaume. I don’t know if Benson is his first, middle, last or only name. (Actually, after my quick Google search, I do know it’s his first name, but until my quick Google search, I had no idea).

There’s a governor involved, somehow.

Deep Space Nine’s Odo, Rene Auberjonis, has a role in the show. He’s funky looking without the nose and forehead prosthetics I’m used to seeing him in. Dude, get a haircut … and lose the pornostache.

Is Benson the governor’s butler or chief of staff? I thought “butler” but I’ve watched ten minutes of an episode and now I’m not so sure. In fact, I’m more confused than ever.

Anyway, TV Land is running a Benson marathon, and apparently has been all day. I was at work, so I didn’t know this. In fact, the only way I did know this was because I channel surfed past it and thought, “Huh, that looks like Robert Guillaume and Rene Auberjonis.” Anyway, I’ve got some fish sticks in the oven, a glass of milk on the table next to me, and I’m planning on sitting here, oh, for at least the next six or twelve hours (instead of working on the Zeus‘ hull, like I’d been planning on).

I lead an exciting life.

Shutup. Yes I do. You’re jealous, even if you won’t admit it, and doubly so if you deny it.

*I looked up what year the show began airing, and what network it aired on. I didn’t have to Google my birthdate. I know what year I was born, plus the day and month I was born in. Even if I did, it’d be difficult — I gave up Googling myself and finding a person with my name who was actually me.

(In this episode, Benson just accidently married the Swedish chef he apparently hates. How do you accidently marry someone? No one told the judge it was a “proxy” wedding. I didn’t see this sitcom twist coming, no, I didn’t.)

On occasion, when I get to a house, a kid will come running up to me holding a piece of paper and a pen, asking for my autograph. Cute, but I never understood why, until I took a delivery waaaay north and the woman who answered the door, when her kid thrust paper and pen into my face, explained that there’s a kid show where one of the main characters is a pizza delivery guy who is very friendly, stopping to help stranded motorists, provide directions, and bring people good food to eat.

Clearly, nothing like me.

(I still don’t really understand why these kids want my autograph).

Anyway, I don’t like to sign my full name. This is odd because my signature is very hard to read. So last night, when a kid came running up with his paper asking for my autograph, I signed my name Peter Krause.

Just because.