The proper time to use a coupon is when you’re on the phone placing an order.

Not when I get to you door, and you’re walking around acting all surprised. Yes, when you order a pizza for delivery, the pizza gets delivered. To your house. Put some clothes on and grab your purse, ‘cuz lady, a.) you mighta been “all that” twenty years ago, but you sure ain’t now, and b.) christ, your kids are seeing you like this!

Big surprise: when people produce a coupon to save a buck off the order total, they usually don’t care to tip well. Huh. I’d've never guessed.

As Old Man F. describes it, having returned to an elementary school for the second time, because the credit-card payment hadn’t processed, and having ascertained a check to compensate him for the pizzas and a gratuity, as he attempted to leave the parking lot, in a uniform shirt and hat with the logos of the Franchise’s mother company, in a dirty van with a large sign also bearing the logo of the mother company, he noticed a police officer running across the road, from where two county cruisers were parked in speed-trap ambush, yelling for him to stop.

It seems someone had noticed him walking about the elementary school, and called the police. The police, who coincidentally were across the street setting up a speed trap, were of course more than happy to investigate, as they should when some weirdo is wandering around an elementary school.

Of course, OMF wasn’t wandering around looking for children to molest, he was trying to get payment from so no-account dirtball who’d already tried to screw him.

In any case, OMF saw a police officer running to his van, and as requested, provided identification to the officer, then sort of stood there with a perplexed expression on his face as the officer inquired, “What’s your business here?”

Um. Delivering pizzas? It isn’t exactly an unknown logo on the sign, the hat, and the shirt.

That said, this story is according to OMF. Not that I’d question his veracity.

(Given OMF’s history with delivering to schools — the whole, “Two In the Pink, One in the Stink” incident — I think Steve & Greg might just forbid him from ever going to a school again).

Returned to Netflix at various points late last week:

Six Feet Under, Season Two, Discs 2, 3, & 4.

Shipped from Netflix yesterday:

Six Feet Under, Season Two Disc 5, and Season Three Discs 1 & 2.

Recieved at my home five minute ago:

Six Feet Under, Season Three, Discs 1 & 2.

Netflix, you fuckers.

Is that the construction that has made it a living nightmare and an exercise in automobile “evasive manuever” tactics seems to be finally coming to a close.

This brings us, of course, to the unsurprising news that there is also bad news about York Road.

Yesterday, two lanes had what appeared to be a final pave, and today a third had been paved. Of course, the problem here, is that, facing north, both southbound lanes are paved, then there’s a drop-off for the middle turn lane which is still that grooved old pavement, than the left northbound lane is paved, and the right northbound lane is also the unpaved groove shit going on. In addition to making the road completely uneven, the paint is missing from much of the road, allowing for a considerable amount of freedom for drivers to determine what lanes go where and do what. Earlier this afternoon, for instance, I was shocked to discover that there was only one northbound lane and the other four were all southbound lanes!

(I wasn’t as shocked as the police officer who was also driving north in the apparently southbound lane to my left).