Wow.

I want to hump it!

Damn today was slow. I had eight runs, four of them between five and six.

I made great progress into this book by Christopher Moore. It’s funny, absurd, and unpredictable. It’s only three-hundred and ten pages, and I was a little surprised that I didn’t finish it (given that I was at work for eight hours and spent six and a half of those sitting on my fat ass with my feet propped up on a stack of empty, overturned dough trays).

Actually, orcas aren’t quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.

I’ll never look at a whale the same way again.

Many, many, many many many very long ago years in the long nearly forgotten past, I went to Catholic school. This, in large part, may explain my aversion to religion. At least, when people have asked why I’m agnostic or athiest (depending on my mood when asked), my usual response is, “I went to Catholic school” and they nod in understanding.

However, Catholic school was not entirely bad. I was never molested by a priest, although I was terrified of Sister Mary Catherine, and wondered why every other desk had a swastika carved into it. My experience with Catholic school ended after the 6th grade, when my family moved out of Adelphi and up to Columbia. Then I got to experience public school. But this, neither here nor there.

My best friend at Catholic school was actually one grade below me — his name was Russell (well, still is) and we were best buds. He hooked me on Star Trek and sci-fi, and I even went to Star Trek conventions with him and his family (his dad co-wrote an episode of The Next Generation, but I won’t tell you which one). I have a fond memory of running with him through the corridors of the Hunt Valley Marriott being chased by a bunch of Klingons looking for deodorant.

We would build Lego starships — baseplates and bricks, no fancy engines or hulls — and let our imaginations carry us away to far off star systems on outlandish adventures. He is also the only — and I do mean only — person I have let call me by my full first name — Jeffrey.

In any case, I logged into my MySpace page the other day, the first time in at least a month. I don’t particularly care for MySpace, I registered to find Zebulon’s page — and I did, and laughed my ass off — and then essentially forgot about it until my sister called me up demanding to know why I hadn’t responded to her friend request. So, apparently, MySpace is a good way to track people down — imagine my surprise when I logged into MySpace this weekend and found a friend request from Russell.

I hadn’t even considered the possibility of using MySpace to find lost friends (just dorky semi-retarded coworkers). Russ and I had lost touch many years ago, back when I had a Jeep, and he was the University of Maryland, and I think just before I started at Towson. I’d tried to locate him a few times in the last few years but had been unsuccessful (and I deeply regreted losing touch with my oldest friend* in the first place). Dude — you were totally right, Starcraft IS the best game ever! I’m so fucking addicted to it.

In any case, Russ, I hope you saw the comment I left on your blog — I couldn’t locate an e-mail address for you. (Did you see my Lego Hogwarts?) Yours is a friendship I very much want to renew!

*”oldest friend” in terms of length of our friendship, not age. Der!

Last night was Jacksonville’s “firework” night, which probably explained why it was so slow after five o’clock — literally everyone drove into “downtown” (pft. a fire station and a traffic light and some supermarkets, but it’s the closest thing there is, I guess), found a parking spot — in parking lots, on the side of the road, in people’s driveways, whateva’ — and did the whole tailgate thing. Thankfully, I was leaving work by the time they were getting set up — this was about eight o’clock — so I didn’t have to be around for the total traffic cluster that I’m sure resulted.

When I saw it was slow after five o’clock, it implies that it was busy before five o’clock. Well, yes, in comparison to the rest of the night, the day was busy. In comparison to any other day, it was dead fucking slow. Today will probably be more of the same — I was hoping it would rain and be busy as a result, but that’s sunlight coming in the bedroom window, so I’m thinking I need to take some books into work with me …

… otherwise I will go stark raving mad.

I’m scheduled at the Indy 11-3 on Tuesday. Providing it doesn’t rain, I can describe right now what will happen. Show up. Do nothing. Go home. Pft.