Do you remember that joke about Paris Hilton? “Yeah, I went to France and spent the night in Paris Hilton.”

Well, the next time someone tries that on you, just remember to remind them of this CNN article (seriously, isn’t like, there a revolution in Cuba and a war in the Middle East? Er, sorry, many wars in the Middle East?), in which Ms. Hilton is quoted as saying, “”I’m not having sex for a year.”

Wait a moment.

Now, cue riotous laughter.

Gary’s mother-in-law and her new husband spent the night at his place yesterday after their vacation included a visit to Gettysburg. Gary’s step-father-in-law is from the deep woods of Virginia, and a staunch believer in the Confederate cause, including membership in the “Sons of Confederacy.”

Gary doesn’t like his own relatives much, so you can imagine how much he likes his in-laws, particularly his north-hating step-father-in-law. A volatile mix to be sure, and one that didn’t get much better after a few beers when, during a conversation in which his step-father-in-law made some nasty comments about how much the world would be better if a lot more Northern soldiers had died and traitorous Maryland razed, Gary (himself rather not really caring one way or the other, but a little ticked at some comments directed at his patriotism as a resident of the fine and wonderful state of Maryland) remarked, “Y’know, before you run your fucking mouth, you should think how much you’d like it if Atlanta got burned down again.”

Before his step-father-in-law returns — if indeed he ever does — Gary plans to frame a poster of General William Tecumseh Sherman and hang it prominently in his foyer.

Sunshine State has been out on DVD for a couple of years, but I only got around to watching it this weekend, despite the fact that John Sayles, as the writer slash director slash editor, is one of my consistently favorite filmmakers — I was introduced to him by the 1996 film Lone Star, which, as in all of his films, boasts a story that can only be described as “convoluted.”

The blurb on the back of Sunshine State reads, “[A]n unforgettable portrait of a richly diverse Florida town threatened by real estate developers.” The movie runs 140-some minutes, but I guarantee you that a ruthless editor could get the story down to less than a half of that, the cause being one of the things that attracts me to Sayles’ films, his meandering writing that explores the lives of a diverse and numerous cast, all interconnected through ways unknown to them, and known only to the audience after plus-two-hours watching everything unfold slowly, almost painfully so.

This movie was a little disappointing, particularly since I saw Silver City first (and that’s a superior film, although it just hit DVD a year or two ago). It boasts a large and varied cast including Tim Hutton and Angela Bassett, and a couple of actors from NYPD Blue (the original shift lieutenant & the dumb red-head). The oddest member of the cast is Edie Falco, odd for her hillbilly-deep-south-Florida accent, a marked departure from the New Jersey tinge her voice is usually inhabited by.

If you ever want to spend two and a half hours watching a movie and feeling like your time has been well — or at least “interestingly” — spent, you could do much worse than a John Sayles’ film. They’re not just for pretentious film students anymore.

Geez, I’d better meet a bunch more people from the internets and stop being so lonely and shit.

(I use humor to mask how at home that article hit).