My justification is that my loyal blog readers are deserving to know how bad the movie sucks before spending $9.25 to find out for themselves. But, really, I just want to scream, “Motherfucking snakes on a motherfuckin’ plane!” in the theater.

Yesterday, I got so frustrated by the stupidity of certain coworkers — after the order has left the store to be delivered and the customer calls back to change something, you can’t say “okay” — that returning to the store, I threw the pizza-bag (with five items and $40 worth of food) onto the floor and began jumping up and down on it while shouting, “YOU! ARE! FUCKING! RETARDED!”

I. Can’t. Wait. For. West. Fucking. Virginia.

And you know why?

Because who doesn’t like motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane?

I really want to see this movie. I think when I go to the ticket window, I’ll say, “One adult for motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane, please.”

If not, don’t click here.