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I should specific, clarify, that I oppose same-sex marriages for animals. (I fully support same-sex marriages for people.)

I should now specify that I also oppose inter-species marriage for animals. Male lions shouldn’t be able to marry male lions, and male lions certainly shouldn’t be able to marry male or female deer. (And, of course, I fully support inter-racial marriages for people.)

I say this because a museum in Oslo — which is somewhere far, far away, probably the Midwest* — is featuring an exhibit, “Against Nature?”, which discusses homosexual animals. Buttfucking: it’s not just for gay men anymore. (Or, more generally, “it’s not just for people anymore!, for that matter).

Best line? The last: ‘…a Pentecostal priest lashed out at the exhibition, saying taxpayers’ money used for it would have been better spent helping the animals correct “their perversions and deviances”.’

And … you’re going to do that how, exactly? Up here in Baltimore County, we’ve got an overpopulation of deer as it is. If anything, we could use more homosexual deer so that the population wouldn’t grow as fast. I think we should encourage deer to engage in more homosexual behavior, actually. It’d probably be a lot more enjoyable for them than getting hunted down or having their nippers nipped.

*Norway. I’m not dumb, I just pretend for the purposes of blogging.