So, like, if you’re a Care Bear, do you come with the belly design and the fur color? Or are you just bland and go to Care Bear Career Counselling where you determine what kind of Care Bear you want to be? “Oh, I want to be a Sunshine Bear!” and then you go to the Care Bear Tattoo and Beauty Center and come out dyed yellow with a sun tattoed on your belly fur and a heart stamped on your ass.
I’m guessing the girl above would be “Innocent Catholic Schoolgirl Bear?” (Yum).
Do you have to pick from a book of Care Bear Careers, or can you be creative? Homosexual Bear could be pink with a rainbow on his or her belly.
Could you just decide to be a bear? Y’know, romp in the woods and try to eat Alec Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins?
Oh. Whatdaya know. There’s already a homosexual bear. (I thought I was being very original, bah).
