And by “little friend”, I mean neither his Lego penis, nor a good sized assault rifle with grenade launcher and bayonet mount. No, no, I mean the duck on his head. Although, come to think of it, sex with him probably be really uncomfortable for her. (And when I say “for her”, I mean any woman who is about to jump into bed with a man made out of Lego bricks, not either of the chicks in the photo, especially since I don’t want them to get mad at me for posting this photo on my blog, but, y’know, no hotlinking and it was on the internet … I’ll black out your faces if you want).
But, seriously, can you imagine the conversation, if some chica decides to have sex with a man made out of Lego?
“Hmm. Super-thin, ribbed, or mutual preference?”
“Okay, do you have any condoms that will make it, er, smooth?”
“Uh, smooth?”
“Yeah. Y’know. Less blocky and peggy. More rounded. I like round penis. I don’t like penises with corners. Sorry.”
(Also: He wouldn’t be as good picking up women if he knew he had a duck coming out of his hair.)
I found this image while doing a google search for “Lego Porn.” No, no, joking aside, I do not self-pleasure to actual lego porn, I thought it would make for an interesting post. (I do enjoy pornotube and wetcircle.com for my internet porn enjoyments, if for some reason you were interested in that).
If you are interested in Lego Porn, presented to you from the “don’t let your boss see this post unless you want him to think you’re really kinky” file:
One girl blows as another looks on, guy goes down on chick, bald lady about to be rear-ended.
Yes. I’m sure you’ll never look at your child’s Lego toys the same way again.
C’mon.
Seriously.
If you know the lane you’re driving in ends at the light, why don’t you try to get over before you have to honk and wave and force your way into the next lane over? And, no, I don’t buy the argument that “you’re new to the area” because you knew enough to make the first unmarked right-turn into the Verizon building. You knew. You knew and you chose to be a moron.
Also on my list this morning:
People on highways in lanes that are marked to end. Instead of taking a proactive role in merging out of that lane, they wait until the lane ends, then just keep going into the next lane over (staying always to the right of the solid white line), and honking and screaming at the people they’re running into other lanes. Dickweeds. Prime targets for “Driving While Stupid.”
People who speed up just to stop faster. Some douchebag last night gunned around me as I got into the turn-lane for Shawan Road, just to pull back in front of me in the same lane. I got the last laugh, though a few traffic lights up on Shawan Road where I “cock-blocked” him from getting into the northbound lane. Serves you right.
Also, making a left-hand turn out of the Indy’s parking lot onto Ashland Road can present its own challenges. First, during high-traffic times, it can be nearly impossible to make the left. Second, if there are a large number of vehicles waiting to turn onto York Road, it can be difficult to see traffic from York Road. Get past all those hurdles, and you’ve still got one more: traffic turning left from the shopping-strip across Ashland Road will quite often see the coast clear — even after you’ve made the turn and coming down on them — and gun it out. Then you’re stomping on your brake and honking and they’re like “where the fuck did you come from?” and I’m like “OH MY GOD LOOK BEFORE YOU TURN!” and want to poop my pants, but, y’know, don’t.
