I do believe I am now off Probation Before Judgement regarding my speeding ticket last year. I got the ticket on Friday, November 25th, 2005 (iirc), and as I understand it, PBJ runs from the date of the ticket, not the court-date, which was sometime in January.
Zebulon, who recieved two speeding tickets from the same cop in a week period a few months ago, is going to court tomorrow. I text-messaged him some advice:
1. Don’t dress up in your buccaneer/final fantasy costume. They won’t like the big sword at the security gate.
2. Address the judge as “sir” or “your honor.”
3. Wear a tie.
4. Don’t mumble, and if you do mumble, mumble in English. Don’t mumble in Japanese.
5. For Christ’s sake, don’t park in the judge’s parking spot.
6. If the judge is a woman, don’t address her as ’sir.’ This isn’t Star Trek II.
He hasn’t responded, but if he does, I fully expect his response to consist of some variation of the words “fuck” and “you.”
UPDATE:
Just got his text reply. “Thanks for the info, appreciate it.” He probably read this post and was like, “Well, shit, now I can’t text him to go fuck himself!” Bastard.
His driver’s license was revoked for life two years ago, but cops say Robert Marapoti, 46, of Sandwich was behind the wheel and drunk when he was arrested Saturday for the eighth time.
Plymouth police say Marapoti rammed the back of his daughter’s car while following her home in a 1990 Mercedes with a dealer’s license plate.
The daughter, 21, whose name is being withheld by police, arranged to meet her father at a convenience store, but found him drunk and passed out at the wheel, police said, and decided to leave him there. Marapoti woke up, drove after his daughter and rear-ended her car as she made a turn, police said.
“The daughter drove home with a neck injury and requested an ambulance from there,†said Capt. Michael Botieri.
Police found Marapoti parked at a nearby Shaw’s supermarket. He was charged for failure to use care in stopping, driving without a license, and his eighth OUI. Marapoti had been sentenced to prison twice for a total of four and a half years, and his license was permanently revoked in 2004.
Judge Snay say: “Why not just chop off his hands? Not only can he not drive without his hands, but his drinking habits will be impaired, too! Woo!”
By which I mean the movie, Munich, not the actual, y’know, city. Of course I’m talking about the very mysterious death — er, assassination — of former KGB spy Alexander Litvinenko (yeah, like Moscow isn’t behind it my fat ass). Anyway, looks like whoever offed him — y’know, Moscow — endangered a lot of people in the process.
Hopefully, the publicity Litvinenko’s death has recieved will force Russia, and President Putin, to drop the repressive techniques of the not-quite-dead Soviet Union once and for all.
I just saw a preview for Mel Gibson’s upcoming film Apocalypto, which I don’t know much about but appears to feature a bunch of Mayan Indians killing the shit out of each other. What really surprises me is that all the advertisement bills the film as “Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto,” which seems slightly odd given, y’know, Mel’s whole “Jews suck!” tirade this past summer.
Graphically violent, subtitled and cast with relatively unknown actors who speak their lines in an obscure dialect, Gibson’s tale of a collapsing Mayan civilization was already outside Hollywood’s mainstream fare. Then came Gibson’s humiliating drunken driving arrest on a Malibu highway in July, which overnight threatened to turn the Oscar-winning director from the film’s biggest asset into its biggest liability.
Nonetheless, it’s uncertain whether Gibson’s fans are ready to forgive him, let alone embrace an R-rated movie that he has made on an unfamiliar topic.
Disney plans to position “Apocalypto” as a riveting action adventure, opening the movie on more than 2,000 screens. Its publicity materials, trailer and TV spots play up the film as a visceral, “heart-stopping” story of a man who makes a daring escape from a world on the brink of destruction to save himself, his pregnant wife and their child.
Well, I don’t think taking Mel’s name off the top of the film would hurt. It certainly won’t be helping.
