Wanted an idea for a unique and clever Christmas Tree ornament? Get a pornament!
The selling of sexually explicit tree ornaments called “Pornaments” at a chain of novelty stores across Florida has led a Miami lawyer to ask stores to stop sales, or else face legal action.
The nine ornaments — spoofs portraying Mr. and Mrs. North Pole, reindeer and Frosty the Snowman in sexually risque positions — are selling for $9 and are on display on public shelves.
Store officials say that there are no restrictions on selling them publicly, which has caused some citizens to be outraged that children can see them.
Do it for the children! Somebody needs to invent a double-eye patch for children so we can stop worrying about protecting them from everything under the damn sun.
I really have to thank the first season DVD set of How I Met Your Mother for getting me through all the papers and presentations I wrote yesterday. Yay, silly goofy good comedy. (I can totally feel Janean’s pain. I totally spelled her name wrong).
I’m sure there’s a whole group of white, middle-aged suburban women who fantasize not about having sex with studly young college men, but rather about getting to yard-sale-shop the homes of the rich and famous. You know the type, ambling from yard to yard oogling Velvet Elvis paintings. Well, if they do exist, this is their wet dream.
Hundreds of fans and bargain-hunters descended on the home of actress Tori Spelling for a yard sale and walked away with wine glasses, paintings, lingerie, roller skates, a rubber duck and other items.
Which just goes to show that even rich people are lousy with their money.
True evil isn’t genocide. True evil isn’t Dr. No, or Snakes on a Plane, Sauron, or even Darth Vader or Tater. No, no — true evil is getting text-message bombed with those stupid presets, to wit, I present you my last eight text messages I’ve recieved:
1. Need Directions.
2. Please Call The Office.
3. Sorry, I can’t help you on this.
4. Sorry, I can’t help you on this.
5. Need directions.
6. Nevermind. Meeting has been cancelled.
7. Need directions.
8. Meet me at the restaraunt.
This means war, and I’m fighting back with my own self-made presets. I’ve got two of them:
“Do you dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
