Julie may think it is just “ridiculous criteria for jacking up rates”, but I couldn’t help but read the article and nod my head in agreement, particular with the statement “Leos (July 23-August 22) … were found to be the best overall.” This agrees with my self-assessment as being one of, if not the, singular best driver in the greater Hunt Valley area. Seems the insurance company agrees — suck it, bitches.

I turned my paper in, the one on the folkways of pizza delivery, Monday evening. Dropped it off in the prof’s mailbox to make sure he got it. I suppose I could have given it to him after the final, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget it. Today, I found this in my Towson webmail inbox (which, I should mention, I rarely use):

I read and enjoyed your paper. It was very lively. Although while reading it I wanted you to say something about the folkways for this group, your appendix at the end clarified it.

Since this paper is so lively, you might try to get it published somewhere. I don’t know how much non fiction the Grub Street at Towson publishes, but you might want to consider that.

It is always awesome to get an e-mail from your professor encouraging you to publish something, even in an amateur or English department publication (which sometimes you get the feeling feel obligated to publish certain things). Anyways, my ego has gotten a much needed boost — in addition, he told me that I recieved a B on the final, quite a relief since I neglected studying for Folklore so I could concentrate on Chaucer.

I’ve been considering posting my folklore paper to my blog, but I based it on my experiences at the Franchise and used the names of real-coworkers and places, so I don’t think Greg would appreciate it much. Methinks I’ll do some “find/replace” and throw it up sometime this weekend.

Clearly, Judge Roy Moore is not a stupid man. He earned his law degree by the time he was thirty years, while I’ll be finishing my bachelor’s only slightly over a year before I reach that age. So, the only thing I can figure is that Roy Moore is a Christianist, seeking to break down the boundary between religion and civil laws. He’s tried to do so before — and got busted by Alabama’s judicial ethics panel for it. Perhaps because of his massive defeat in running for the Republican primary this past year, he just delivered a very spiteful shot at newly elected Congressmen Keith Ellison, the first Muslim to hold national office in the United States. You can read his ramblings here.

Judging from Roy Moore’s clearly lacking train of thought, I wanted to bring up a problem with, in particular, one flawed line of thinking of his: “But common sense alone dictates that in the midst of a war with Islamic terrorists we should not place someone in a position of great power who shares their doctrine.”

Can we look at that logic, Judge Moore? Following is a roughly comprehensive — but selective — list of wars this nation, the United States of America, has fought, and our opponents and their religion.

The War on Independence, waged against the Christian British.

The War of 1812, waged against the Christian British.

The Mexican War, waged against the Christian Mexicans.

The American Civil War, waged against largely Christian Americans.

The Spanish-American War, waged against the Christian Spanish.

World War One, waged against the nations of Germany and Austria, both Christian.

World War Two, waged against the German and Italian nations, both predominantly Christian, as well as the Japanese, who, yes, don’t worship anything Christian.

So, uh, I just want to bring these up, because if you’re actually serious in what you’re saying, every member of our government who professed a belief in Christianity should’ve resigned from Congress … right?

Really, Mr. Moore, my big problem with your article is that you use the words of Jaafar Sheikh Idris to determine the “proper” duty of a Muslim — but as you yourself admit, Idris is a religious extremist, an Islamist. What evidence is there that Ellison is an Islamist? None. However, evidence for being a Christianist? Mounting!

One last bit:

Islamic law is simply incompatible with our law.

Judge Moore, I agree with you — “our law” is a secular law deriding its authority not from God and the Bible, but from a legal system designed to prevent the intermingling of church and religion. Islamic Law is absolutely incompatable with “our law”, but, then again — so is Christian Law. Once religion and law mix, religious freedom goes right out the door. Like, say, the freedom to worship whom one believes in and run for public office. You hate the exercise of freedom of religion, Roy Moore. That’s okay, because this is a free country (and you’re a moron).

Found on Lugnet, C. L. GunningCook’s description of this holiday themed creation:

The Gingerbread Holiday Home… with sloped brick “icing”, “chocolate” doors/window and “candy-cane” pillars. The roof is shingled in boat stud “Smarties” and the yard is surrounded with tile and tire “licorice all sorts” and 2 by 2 round “gumdrop” fence. The windows are lined with trans yellow “candy” that shines with the help of some Lego lights and a battery box that resides inside the house.

’tis the season, and all that.

How evil are you?

I was hoping I’d get “living incarnation of Satan.” I guess I’m not evil enough. I’m going to go find a cat to cuddle with.

There’s a Home Depot commercial, not yet available on YouTube (WTF), which depicts Santa being pulled over by a cop in a helicopter and unable to produce his license or registration. Personally, I think TalkLeft is taking it a bit too seriously:

There is no excessive nervousness, failure to make appropriate eye contact, talkativeness, or furtive movements from Santa or the elf or overpowering smell of air fresheners or obvious modifications to the sleigh for a compartment where contraband could be hidden. Also, it appears unlikely from the video that there was any a bona fide moving violation to pull the sleigh over in the first place.

But to get to all of the homes in the world during one night, TravelbyGPS reports that “Santa’s route includes 569 world cities - flying over 272,000 kilometers” and all in a single night. Even when you account for longer night hours during the winter, and that Santa can move by time-zone to time-zone to increase the length of the night, let’s not kid ourselves: he’s sleighing like a mad-man to make all his stops! Because of the nature of his stops, he’s probably flying slow, and believe it or not, but if he’s not calling into the local Air Traffic Control (doubtful), and if he’s flying faster than the speed of sound (probable), he’s probably in violation.

Besides. (It’s just a fucking ad). And Santa can still exercise his Fourth Ammendment Rights, can’t he? He’s not an American, but he’s on American soil, or so it doth appear.

A “good start” may indeed be when all the lawyers are at the bottom of the ocean, but this is damn funny and if they were all at the bottom of the ocean, we wouldn’t be able to laugh at it, huh? So, for me, no more lawyer jokes until the holiday season is finito …

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, and gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday as practiced within the traditions of the religious or secular
practices or traditions of your choice or, if none, without regard to any
religious or secular practices or traditions at all. We wish you a fiscally
successful, personally fulfilling, and medically healthy generally accepted
calendar year 2007 with due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. The
foregoing does not imply in any way that America is greater than any other
country, that the United States is the only America in the Western
Hemisphere, or that the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious
faith, or sexual preference of cultures who have helped make other countries
great is inferior. By accepting these greetings you are accepting the
following terms. These greetings are subject to clarification and
withdrawal at any time and imply no promise by the wisher to the wishee to
implement any of the wishes herein. These greetings are freely transferable
on the express condition that there be no alteration of the original
greetings. These greeting are void where prohibited by law and are
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. These greetings have no
guarantee or warranty of any kind. These greetings are valid for a period
not to exceed one year or until the issuance of subsequent greetings or
until clarification or withdrawal of these greetings pursuant to the terms
of these greetings, whichever comes first. The sole remedy for any
dissatisfaction of the wishee is, after service of written notice on the
wisher by the wishee, clarification or withdrawal of these greetings or
issuance of new greetings, at the sole discretion of the wisher.”