My New Year’s Evening Plans? Watching Raiders of the Lost Ark with Geisha, Natty Boh, and various non-diet-friendly foods. Geisha had a brilliant observation as Indy makes his escape in the seaplane: “Look, look! It’s a snake on the plane!”

If George Lucas decides to do a Special Special Edition of this film in the future — and by the way, renaming the film Indiana Jones & The Raiders of the Lost Ark? BLAH! — he should dub Indy’s line to change from, “I HATE SNAKES!” to “I hate motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking seaplane!”

My “Snakes on a Plane” fever has been refueled, and guess what comes out on DVD Tuesday?

Happy New Year!

It’s that time of the year — that time exactly — to think about making New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve actually been giving this some forethought, but first, I want to talk about last year’s resolutions. Last year, I made four resolutions (the fourth one I actually made a little late):

1. I resolved to lose weight.
2. I resolved to find a job.
3. I resolved to keep my apartment clean.
4. I resolved to finish my college degree.

So, how have I done on all of these? (Need you ask?)

1. I lost thirty pounds. And then I went off my diet and gained it all back. I’m right where I was last year (to the fucking pound). Fudge.

2. Nope. No luck. Had a few interviews, prospect’s will be better once I’ve finished this degree.

3. Hah-hah-hah! As if.

4. Well, I’m almost there. I’ve got one semester (of two needed) behind me, and I should be finishing my degree in the spring. I’ve got minimester beginning on Tuesday, and as soon as that’s over, the regular semester kicks up. I’m going to be a studyin’ fool.

My resolutions for this coming year?

1. I resolve to lose weight. Yep, after tonight, I’m going back on my diet. Rice cakes, PBJ sandwiches, and water in my future.

2. I resolve to find a job. C’mon, degree!

3. I resolve to keep my apartment clean. Okay, so this one might be a little questionable. Bah, I figure I should have at least one resolution to not keep so at this time next year I can say, “Oh, yeah, I only accomplished 75% of my New Year’s Resolutions!”

4. I will finish my college degree (which will make resolution #2 a lot easier).

And as I finish writing this, I’ve got to go get ready for work. I’m scheduled all day, and with Zebulon as closing manager. I’m hoping to be out around 9pm at the latest — last year was dead slow for New Year’s, but I’m hoping to make some money. Factors in my favor? The delayed football game tonight. Here’s hoping its killer busy! (Snay’s broke).