I don’t know what makes me feel more retarded - that I don’t know how to spell “vacuum” (or is it “vaccum”?), or that I’ve actually got this little fun story to tell.
So, last Christmas, my parents bought me a vaccum cleaner. My old one bit the dust in August, and the little cheap thing I bought at Target a few days later wasn’t doing the trick. However, I didn’t recognize the brand-name on the vacuum cleaner, so I returned it to Linens & Things and upgraded.
I had some folks over Saturday night to watch Snakes on a Plane, and as I finished vacuuming my apartment that afternoon, I realized I’d probably reached the point where I’d filled the container enough to empty it. Plus, when you’ve got a pretty vaccum cleaner like mine, you don’t want to stuff it into a closet, and I wanted to put it on display without a dirty filled container.
Look, side note: I’m a guy. I don’t like instructions. This? There are no instructions for that — it was built free-hand, if you will. I’m an instruction free kind of guy.
Anyway, getting back to what I was saying: so, I unhook the container device thing from the vacuum cleaner and I was trying to figure out how to dump it. This is where reading the instruction manual would come in handy, because just when I thought I had everything figured out, I realized it worked differently than I expected and I wound up dumping nearly a full month’s worth of vacuumings onto the bare carpet.
I think I stared at the mess for about five seconds before letting loose with a very vocal “motherfucker!” It was all good, though — I picked up most of the dirt, threw it — by HAND — into the trash bag, then vacuumed up what was left and properly dumped it out. And now I know how to properly empty my vaccum cleaner.
