If this had been a few days earlier, I think it would’ve made a great April Fools’ Day prank. But, no, this is real.
Metallica may work as a name for a heavy metal band, but a Swedish couple is struggling to convince authorities it’s also suitable for a baby girl.
Sweden’s tax agency rejected Michael and Karolina Tomaro’s application to name their 6-month-old daughter after the legendary rock band.
“It suits her,” Karolina Tomaro, 27, said Tuesday of the name. “She’s decisive and she knows what she wants.”
Although little Metallica has already been baptized, the Swedish National Tax Board refused to register the name, saying it was associated with both the rock group and the word “metal.”
Generally, I’m in favor of government authorities not getting involved when people want to name their kid something weird or offbeat or strange. Y’know. Something that you’re not likely to find pressed into one of those index-sized novelty license plates with names like ‘Mike’ or ‘Steph’ or ‘Jeff’ or whatever.
That said ..
You’re not going to be able to convince me, you, or anyone with a quarter of a brain that at six months old this baby has the experience to know that she wants her name to be ‘Metallica’ for the rest of her damn life. Sure, the kid might be laughing and giggling when mommy and daddy play Metallica CDs really loudly, but maybe that’s just because she’s not smart enough to know this’ll cause her tremendous hearing loss later in life. I complained to my Mom that she didn’t name my “Rex.” I was, I dunno, nine or ten then, and in the middle of a “dinosaur phase.” Sure, I was upset about it at the time when I looked back and considered, “Hey, I could be Rex – how cool would that be?” but, speaking from my perspective here in 2007, I’m actually really glad I wasn’t named “Rex.”
(And before anyone gets a smart-ass response, my name is not really ‘Malnurtured Snay.’)
