So, there’s this coworker I have, and he isn’t exactly known for his posession of common sense. Go through the archives, and you might be able to figure out who I’m talking to.

Anyhow, for reasons I’m not going to go into, this coworker’s (Coworker A) mother had to pick him up from work the other day, where another coworker (Coworker B) saw his mom. Now, mind you, Coworker A’s mom was young when she had him, and Coworker A is himself not very old.

So Coworker B says to Coworker A, “Dude, your mom’s hot and I wanna fuck her.”

So Coworker A says to his mother, “Coworker B says your hot and he wants to fuck you.” (Who says this to their mother, I don’t know).

Coworker A’s mother says to Coworker A, “Well, Coworker B is kind of cute. Maybe if he was a few years older, I’d fuck him.”

At this point, had you a little common sense, you might think Coworker A might keep his mouth shut. Bad enough he tells his mother that she’s the object of a coworker’s sexual desires, but can you imagine what just might possibly be worse? If you answered “telling Coworker B what Coworker A’s mother said”, you might just be right.

It’s sort of like pouring gasoline on an open flame. Sure, the ball of flame is cool and all, but when the flame’s your mom and the gasoline is Coworker B who wants to bang the shit out of her … yeah, maybe not such a bright idea.

The lesson here is: if your mother is a MILF, never, ever, for any possible reason, talk about it with her; and limit all possible discussion of it with your coworkers.

This post does not actually deal with The Great Vowel Shift which changed English pronunciation over the course of three hundred years; I just thought it made a catchy post title.

The class I’m struggling with the most this semester is my HEL class: History of the English Language. It’s my one requirement class this semester - I could fail any of my other three and still graduate. Not this class - it’s a must pass. It’s appropriate that my abreviation for the course meets with how I sometimes feel about it: HEL! Actually, I think I reached a changing point in my view of the class today. We have three tests spread across the semester, instead of the usual midterm/final arrangement. We just got back our second test.

I did poorly on the first test. I failed it: 59. But Dr. D had graded something wrong I’d gotten right so I wound up with a 61. I was in full panic mode. I was a little more confidant about this second test for a couple of reasons, but primarily because it dealt less with grammar and the phonemic alphabet and more with history and culture. I was surprised on Tuesday, talking with other students after the test, who’d felt they’d done awful. In many cases, these students had done very well — or at least, a lot better than me — on the first test, so you can imagine I wished that the date for class withdrawl wasn’t a week in the past.

This morning, before Dr. B’s ItCM class, I stopped by Dr. D’s office to ask if we were getting our tests back. He was busy figuring out the class’ test average — 78.5% — but I saw his open grade-book and, to my shock, my grade for the test. I felt the need to confirm it with him, and he did.

I beat the average by 8.5 points.

I did not dance a jig of joy in the middle of the classroom, mostly because there’s no room to do that, and also because I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of everyone who did worse than me. Now, however, that I’m relatively anonymous on the internet I can cheer and cheer and cheer … YAY ME!

Kurt Vonnegut, dead at 84.

I’ve got a draft of a paper due later today, and I forgot to bring my power-cord (so I’m on precious battery power), but go read A Doggy’s Life take on Vonnegut, she’s got a great post on him.

A bumpersticker seen on a moron’s truck yesterday: MEAN PEOPLE RULE. Apparently, Dumb Drivers Rule too, because he’d stopped for the red light in the middle of the Sweet Air/Jarrettsville Pike intersecton and traffic with the right-of-way had to make some wide ass turns to avoid his truck.

Anyway, so I was thinking, if he came out of his house tomorrow and found his tires slashed and his car smeared with manure, all doused in gasoline and lit on fire, then a big sign placed on the smoldering remains that read “MEAN PEOPLE RULE” …

… do you think he’d agree?

I tend to think not.