Even though the Indy opens at 11am, Gary likes to get in early so that he can do his pre-prep work, muse over the previous night’s paperwork, and essentially lounge around before we worthless peon employees show up around ten. There are things Gary does not like to see at 8:30 in the morning (which, for him, is “running late”): a messy close the previous night is probably number one on that list, but I’m sure seeing me sitting against the store’s front door with my car nowhere in sight is at least a top twenty.

Where was my car?

Thanks for asking, it’s a funny - and long - story. (more…)

So I’m not the most computer-literate guy in the world. I’ve told you the story of when a friend was examining my computer and asked if I’d ever defragged it. I told her — and, I honestly believed this to be the truth — that, yes, the computer was old and crappy, but did I really need to blow it up with a hand grenade? She gave me a look that said “Wow, you’re stupid.”

I’m not stupid enough not to know the risks that exist with spyware that could be located on my computer and pose a danger to my machine and to personal information about me. I hate spyware. I hate pop-ups.

Spy Sweeper is the most award-winning antispyware software. It’s the best bet you’ve got to keep your computer free of malicious programming (which gets more inovative and insidious every day) designed to turn your machine into a zombie computer. Spy Sweeper gets all proactive about hunting down spyware, and in addition to checking your computer for already hidden bugs, its Smart Shield blocks known and new infections before they reach your computer (you can pretend to be Captain Kirk when you boot your computer up: “Smart Shields Up! Lock Anti-Spyware Phasers!”)

(I mean, I suppose, instead of using Spy Sweeper, you could just, y’know, throw away your modem. Me? I’d just go with Spy Sweeper…)

So my heart began palpatating when I saw a manilla envelope marked “URGENT” on it with a Towson University logo. I walked into my apartment, dropping bills and flyers onto a side table as I made for the dining room table with his particular letter. I sort of roughly “crashed” into the dining room chair and waited a full moment, breathing steadily, before I dared open it. Had I missed a requirement? I must’ve. Why wasn’t I graduating?

The first thing I saw on the letter, in small print, was a notice that Towson University reserved the right to persue any debts assessed prior to the release of my diploma. I unfolded the letter and …

(more…)