So I’ve got some money I owe after the last year in school, and I would love to be able to consolidate all of my outstanding debts into one, easy to pay loan, but the process of finding a loan (with so many offered by various lenders) is just so frustrating and tedious and … mathematic … that I hate doing such research. Thankfully, if you’re British, UK Personal Loans will search over 90% of the secured lender market so that you can find the best match for your loan needs — be it debt consolidation, or for a car or house, they’ve totally got you covered, and you can avoid an adverse credit loan!

Well, I hope no one in your family works as a grocery store checkout clerk because their days, if already weren’t numbered enough from self-checkout lanes, now face added competition from “scan as you go“, making its intro into the U.S. here in Mary’s Land. (more…)

Premiering June 28th on USA Network is a new one-hour drama about a CIA agent who gets … fired. USA Network’s Burn Notice’s premise is simple: premiering June 28th, it stars Jeffrey Donovan as Michael Westen, a CIA agent who gets “fired.” This paid post appeals to my creative writing side: “Write a fictional short story telling us why and how he was fired. Since we’re talking about the CIA…. let’s be creative!” It’s almost like they know what my degree is in!

Here goes:

“Wait, what?” Westen said.

“Look, it’s pretty cut and dry,” his boss said on the other end of the telephone, munching on an edible cigar. “You’re supposed to be a secret agent.”

“I am a secret agent!”

“Secret agents aren’t supposed to have blogs, Michael,” his boss rolled his good eye.

“But, boss, c’mon, aren’t you being unreasonable?” Michael fidgeted against the stone wall and transfered the silenced pistol to his other hand and took a swig from the beer he’d placed on a turned-over trashcan. “I mean, it was a secret blog.”

“Just because you set yourself to be viewed by ‘friends only’ on your MySpace blog — and, seriously, a MySpace blog? How lame can you get? I should fire you just for that — doesn’t mean it’s a secret blog.”

“C’mon, please? I promise not to write any more entries about Agent Cooper and his rotating caliphrating manfibulator problems.”

“Yeah, those were actually funny posts. Course, he didn’t care for them too much. Anyway, listen, you’re, as they say on the ‘blogosphere’, ‘dooced.’ Good job there, Mike, and, oh, you can’t have your last paycheck until we get our silenced pistol back.”

The cell phone went dead. Michael snarled, then smiled as he contemplated what a wonderful blog entry this would make.

That’s my version of why he gets fired. Go here to find out the real reason.

At the Franchise, we have a stacked conveyor belt gas oven. It’s essentially two ovens stacked one on top of the other, with a big ventilator overtop to suck out all the nasty gas. It’s pretty easy to operate: each oven has three switches (HEAT, BLOWER, CONVEYOR) to activate. There are only two settings for each switch: ON or OFF. It’s pretty much retard proof, which means, of course, Zebulon could fuck it completely up.

Friday morning, Greg showed up at 10am to do his prep. He finds the store filled with the evil choaking gasses and that while the ventilator had been turned off, someone had left the oven running all night. Turned out that after we’d closed Thursday night (a busy night, we were here well past when our doors were locked), Chewbacca had turned the oven off. When he was leaving, Zebulon had turned it back on (apparently thinking he was turning it off). I mean, I understand it takes a long time before it completely shuts off and stops making loud noises, but considering the bozo only worked six hours, you wouldn’t think he’d be that tired to make a stupid mistake like that.

But noooooo … (more…)