Maryland’s south of the Mason-Dixon line, and maybe the only reason the state didn’t side with the South is because Federal troops prevented it. Then again, Tennessee’s population voted to remain with the Union, and their politicians ignored the people to go with the South, so what does any of it matter?
Every now and then, I come across a blog post from some southerner ranting and misrepresenting the so-called “War of Northern Aggression.” Here’s a quick primer for when you do:
1. “The War of Northern Aggression” is not an accurate title for a war which began when Southern forces fired FIRST (an inconvenient fact that people like to “forget”). From now on, I will be referring to The War Formerly Known as Civil” as “The War of Southern Aggression.” Or, maybe, “The War of How The South Became So Polite (Because They Don’t Want To Give The North Any Reason To Come Back Down And Burn Their Ass Back To The Ground”). Nah, that’s too long — and TWOHTSBSPBTDWTGTNARTCBDABTABTTG is a really lousy acronym.
2. After denying that the TWOSA was fought over slavery, those who call it TWONA say that the war was fought over “States’ Rights.” Do a little research — The South feared for its slave dependent economy if new territories were admitted to the Union as “slave free” (i.e., “States’ Rights” is code for “Southern Economy”, i.e., the war was fought over slavery).
3. The Emancipation Proclamation is a TOTAL red-herring: what came first? The War? Or the Proclamation? EXACTLY! Once the war had started (over slavery, erm, Southern Economy erm … “states’ rights”), it wouldn’t have mattered if Lincoln had never issued the Proclamation, or if the Southern states had been readmitted with slavery allowed to remain in place — The War of Southern Aggression STILL would’ve been fought over slavery “states’ rights.”
4. If you ever see anyone post that “The South Will Rise Again”, ask them what they dislike about being a citizen of the United States of America, the Greatest Country In The Whole Milky Way Galaxy. Yeah, you heard me — the U.S.A. Greatest. Country. Ever.
Oh, c’mon, Canada has healthcare.
I was kicked out of someone’s home once for saying that I wasn’t especially bothered that the south had lost the civil war. Some of those folks are batshit nuts.
Comment by shelley — October 8, 2007 @ 8:39 am
1) I think you are mistaken, The North made the first aggressive move of the war by not surrendering the Fort Sumter in Charleston Harbor. This was clearly an act of agreesion on the part of the North.
2) Slavery was indeed a major factor in the war but not the only one. To downplay is is indeed trying to re-write history to favor a romantic notion of why the War was fought.
3) The Emancipation Proclamation was indeed only issued ater the start of the war and meant more a way to rally more people to support the war after numerous defeats to the South.
4) I’d argue in some ways the South in the 1980s and 1990s indeed rose again and asserted greater influence on US politics than in any decades since prior to the War of Northern Aggression. Think about that a little. :-)
Comment by Paul — October 8, 2007 @ 9:13 am
My standard position on the U.S. Civil War is that we should’ve let them secede, then nuked them when they sided with Hitler in WWII.
Comment by jwer — October 8, 2007 @ 9:44 am
Wait, how come I have an invisible comment? Yankee plot!
Comment by shelley — October 8, 2007 @ 4:00 pm
If your country is so great, Mr. Smartypants, then why is your dollar plummeting in value? Among other things…
Comment by Chris M. — October 8, 2007 @ 4:16 pm
Now, you talking awful like a Yankee there, boy! As one of my seminary professors was fond of reminding us, in the South “Yankee is only half a word.â€
[:-)
I concur with most of what you say. However, I add this little piece: President Lincoln, whose 200th birthday we celebrate in 2 years, had no desire to permit Blacks equality with whites. The Emancipation Proclamation was issued for one purpose: to prevent Great Britain, who had outlawed slavery almost 30 years before, from entering the war on the side of the Confederacy.
Comment by Sometimes Saintly Nick — October 8, 2007 @ 11:08 pm
I just have to say “Save your Confederate money, son.”
[|:-)= (very bad Lincoln emoticon)
Comment by yellojkt — October 9, 2007 @ 10:14 pm