The only way I’d ever win Top Chef is if they added “Boyardee” to the title, and even then, my Old Bay Ravioli probably wouldn’t impress any of those Food & Wine magazine snobs. I do make a pretty mean Apple Betty (made one Friday night, actually, it was grrr-ate!), and I’ve decided to expand my cooking horizons. In my cupboards and fridge are the ingredients to make lasagna and macaroni and cheese. I’m going to try the mac & cheese tonight.

Now, when I say “mac and cheese”, I don’t mean that (absolutely delightful and wonderful) orange crap from Kraft. I’ve been thinking of my Dad’s home-made, secret-recipe mac and cheese: it’s great stuff, with like this bread crust and wonderful flavoring. I was robbed of the belief that it was a secret-recipe when, having e-mailed my Mom for it, she replied, “He just makes it from the recipe on the back of the box.”

Here’s one thing I noticed: depending on what brand of pasta you’re buying, the recipe on the back of the box is completely different than it might be on another brand’s. Cheap! All I knew about my Dad’s recipe is that I was looking for two things: bread, and mustard. Yes, mustard. Dry mustard, in this case (available in the spice aisle in your favorite supermarket). Mueller’s elbow macaroni has the recipe closest to the one my Dad’s prepared in the past.

Here’s the ingredient list:

8oz elbow macaroni
1/4 cup margarine
3 tsp flour
1/8 tsp dry mustard
1/8 tsp salt (opt.)
1/8 tsp black pepper
2 cups milk
2 cups (8oz) shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
1 cup croutons

And here’s the recipe:

Cook elbow macaroni for 3 minutes.
Drain, cover, and set aside.
Preheat oven to 350 deg.
In medium saucepan, melt margarine (or butter); blend in flour, mustard, salt, and pepper.
Cook until mixture is smooth and bubbly; gradually add milk.
Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture boils; simmer 1 minute, stirring constantly.
Gradually mix in cheese. Stir over low heat until cheese is melted.
Add pasta; mix together lightly. Pour into 2-quart casserole.
Top with croutons (bread). Bake 25 minutes.

(I’m substituting slices of white bread for the croutons). I’m also doubling the recipe, because, I figure, I won’t be eating all of this tonight, so this way, I’ll have dinner for the next several ready and waiting for some microwave reheating action later in the week.

So. Who wants to take bets as to whether or not I poison myself?

Simon Pegg has been cast as Scotty in JJ Abram’s upcoming Star Trek film. I gather there will be a scene where Scotty bashes in zombie skulls in the engineering room with a large wrench.

HT: Tron.

It took fall long enough, but it’s finally here: the sky is grayish blue, the air is pleasantly cool. I know that as the days get shorter and colder, I’ll long for a return to short-sleeve temps, but for now, I’m enjoying the brisk cold and that autumn smell (I’m hoping to smell some chimney fires tonight!)

I am Mr. Song Lile, I work with the Hang Seng Bank here in Hong Kong. Although the internet is very hard place to meet people because you don’t know what to trust or what to believe and what not to.

I have an obscured business suggestion for you. There is the sum of $19,500,000.00 in my bank “Hang Seng Bank” Hong kong. There were no beneficiaries stated concerning these funds which means no one would ever come forward to claim it. That is why I ask that we work together so as to have the sum transferred out of my bank into your account.

Please do not be offended with the manner I contacted you. It was necessitated by the urgency and nature of this transaction. Should you be interested please send me your,

1. Full names
2. Private phone number
3. Current residential address

Kind Regards,
Mr. Song Lile
Email: song_lile2@yahoo.com.hk

I love that first paragraph. I do know who not to believe: My. Song Lile, for one!

I did not come away from today’s interview feeling particularly well about it. My throat was dry, too-often I found myself stammering over phrases I’d rehearsed previously, and when asked “what job title are you applying for?” halfway through (trick question! didn’t see it coming!), I went completely blank. Got the obligatory “We’ll call you”, and, who knows, maybe they will. I’m going to run to the grocery and then send out a few more resumes.

I saw this tonight — erm, this morning — on AICN. Three hundred theaters? There should be one close by. While I can think of remastered episodes of Classic Trek I’d rather see on the big screen — Day of the Dove, certainly — I think I’ll try to find time to go:

SPECIAL EVENT: Remastered “Menagerie” in Theatres!

“STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES” EPISODE “THE MENAGERIE” TO BE PRESENTED IN SPECIAL BIG SCREEN THEATRICAL EVENT
(more…)

Maryland’s south of the Mason-Dixon line, and maybe the only reason the state didn’t side with the South is because Federal troops prevented it. Then again, Tennessee’s population voted to remain with the Union, and their politicians ignored the people to go with the South, so what does any of it matter?

Every now and then, I come across a blog post from some southerner ranting and misrepresenting the so-called “War of Northern Aggression.” Here’s a quick primer for when you do:

1. “The War of Northern Aggression” is not an accurate title for a war which began when Southern forces fired FIRST (an inconvenient fact that people like to “forget”). From now on, I will be referring to The War Formerly Known as Civil” as “The War of Southern Aggression.” Or, maybe, “The War of How The South Became So Polite (Because They Don’t Want To Give The North Any Reason To Come Back Down And Burn Their Ass Back To The Ground”). Nah, that’s too long — and TWOHTSBSPBTDWTGTNARTCBDABTABTTG is a really lousy acronym.

2. After denying that the TWOSA was fought over slavery, those who call it TWONA say that the war was fought over “States’ Rights.” Do a little research — The South feared for its slave dependent economy if new territories were admitted to the Union as “slave free” (i.e., “States’ Rights” is code for “Southern Economy”, i.e., the war was fought over slavery).

3. The Emancipation Proclamation is a TOTAL red-herring: what came first? The War? Or the Proclamation? EXACTLY! Once the war had started (over slavery, erm, Southern Economy erm … “states’ rights”), it wouldn’t have mattered if Lincoln had never issued the Proclamation, or if the Southern states had been readmitted with slavery allowed to remain in place — The War of Southern Aggression STILL would’ve been fought over slavery “states’ rights.”

4. If you ever see anyone post that “The South Will Rise Again”, ask them what they dislike about being a citizen of the United States of America, the Greatest Country In The Whole Milky Way Galaxy. Yeah, you heard me — the U.S.A. Greatest. Country. Ever.

I swung through Columbia today with two tasks on my mind: “stealing” a blazer from my Dad for Tuesday’s interviews, and taking my car for my bi-annual VEIP. The blazer came with some work: my folks are away on vacation, and three large (and heavy) furniture boxes were on their porch, as well as a UPS for my sister. Once I’d moved those inside, I certainly felt like I’d earned the blazer (and, yes, I asked my Dad for permission).

VEIP was great. It’s right down the road from my parents’, and over another road, and down another, then a left and a right. It was totally empty. There were two open lanes, I was in and out in under ten minutes. The guy running the test didn’t even ask me to get out of my car and we talked about his buddy who went head-first in a Celica into a Mustang, and his car (a Honda), and gas mileage, and then I was done and gone: I don’t think I’ve ever been through VEIP that fast. So, if you’re in need of a VEIP and are in the Columbia area, hit ‘em up around noon on a Thursday, and you’ll be out right-quickly (they’re off Owen Brown Road somewheres).

I came back from West Virginia yesterday afternoon. The vacation was relaxing — I read, I grilled, I drank, I watched Ken Burns’ “The War” at night. Once again, the trip home (it’s not even a two-hour drive) reinforced just how absolutely horrible other drivers are: I nearly got killed by some bimbo who decided that checking her mirrors, using her turn signal, or god forbid actually turning her worthless neck to visually check the lane she wanted to mer — er, swerve — into was clear. Thankfully, I pay attention and I’m sharp on the brake. Her car, a big old white Mercury, clearly served as a testament to her driving skills: there wasn’t a non-dented, non-smashed surface anywhere. Clearly, it has saved her life many times. Should you see this vehicle on this state’s magnificent roadways, give her a wide berth: she doesn’t know where you are in relation to her, she doesn’t care, and I can’t imagine she’s got very good insurance (if at all).

I’m just here relaxing in West Virginia — I figured out the grill — and had a phone interview, which I totally didn’t expect. I’ve got (two) in-face interviews on Tuesday next week. I’m looking forward to it!

(I’m on my third Cider of the day, I wasn’t expecting to have a phone interview…).

I’ve been fortunate enough to come across a few episodes of Ken Burns’ PBS WWII documentary – “The War”, from the points of view of the populations of four towns which sent their young to fight and, often, to die. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a WWII documentary quite like this one — not just in terms of length (eight hundred + minutes) — but just in terms of sheer emotional impact.

There was an episode the other night. A guy from Connecticut was out in Italy – Anzio, actually. He kept telling his family, in the letters he sent home, that “everything was fine.” There was no danger. He was having a great time. In reality, he was being shot at, bombed, and eventually was killed during the breakout from Anzio. Sixty years later, his younger brother and sister are sitting against the black drop talking to the camera, “He said everything was fine. So why’s he dead?” and you could see that no matter how many years had passed, how old and wise they got, they still remembered that their older brother, whom they’d trusted, had told them he was fine and would be coming home and he’d lied to them and he was long since dead and gone and they still felt cheated: by life, by the war, by their brother. Even though they’d no doubt accepted that he was lying to them in an effort to protect them, they still felt that pain. I couldn’t help but cry.

If you missed it, The War has a very quick DVD release: it comes out tomorrow. I’ll be adding it to my Netflix queue once Netflix gets its head out of its ass and lists it.