There are things that I’m cool eating, even though I know they will cause me pain later. Spicy chicken wings? Sure, I know that when my bowels finally shoot them out again, I’m going to be walking around like I was humped by an elephant, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. However, any hot sauce which purports to be so hot that it will cause my penis to burst into flames is something I am going to stay far, far, far, farfarfarfar, the fuck away from. Gaaah.