There are so many reasons that I’m glad I’m not delivering pizzas anymore, especially in this economic downturn. I mean, let’s be honest, ordering delivery is not cheap: a lot of times, you’ve got to meet a minimum order threshold. Then you’ve got to consider a delivery charge which may be tacked on, which is, by the way, not anywhere near the same thing as a tip, which of course, you need to add as well.

Couple that with the economy. Sure, a ten-dollar large pizza might be a great deal, but depending on how poor you are, that ten bucks might buy you enough noodles to last a week. And if you do spend that $10 on a pizza, are you going to be able to afford to tip the driver? Because, y’know, often times, that delivery charge goes to the shop, and tips make up the bulk of the driver’s earnings.

And then imagine you’re a Domino’s driver. I was, actually, for several year’s: the Franchise I mentioned remotely in my postings was a Domino’s franchise (now under new ownership) up in Phoenix, MD. So imagine you’re schleppin’ around with a stupid Domino’s sign on your car, and a Domino’s logo on your arm, and you’re scraping by as it is …

… and then a video shows up on YouTube depicting Domino’s employees doing assorted disgusting stuff to food.

I haven’t spoken to anyone that still works there about this, but I can just about bet you that sales at my old store dropped like a fuckin’ rock. Heck, I’d be willing to put money down that sales at all delivery restaurants took a hit. I don’t know what to be more surprised about: the fact that these two morons were stupid enough to post the video to the web (or to expect us to believe that they didn’t send out the food, yeah right), or the fact that people are shocked to see what happens to food they don’t prepare.

Obviously, a lot of what I’m talking about could be considered minor: no matter how many signs you have up saying “Wash Your Hands Before Making Food”, on a busy night, a driver comes running into the store from a run, and he’s jumping right onto the make-line or the boxing station, and if his hands get a courtesy swish in a sink, that’s incredible, and keep in mind: he’s been handling money. He’s been knocking on doors. He’s had dogs slobber his hands. His steering wheel and shift knob are dirty. And I guarantee you it’s not just the drivers.

Does the guy who takes your money then go over to the make-line? Does he wash his hands? Are employees in the food production area without hats or hairnets? What about the employee pulling the food out of the oven and boxing it? Is someone coming out of the back? Do you see them washing their hands? That guy on the back table chopping onions, do you know if he washed his hands?
Can you even see the prep area? Do you know if it’s been cleaned and sanitized?

There is, to my mind, a big difference between any of those scenarios and doing what this pair of morons did. I think Domino’s Pizza is right to pursue civil and criminal action against them, although one wonders what civil penalties they expect to reap: do they look like they can afford to pay a multi-million dollar verdict?

At the same time, people, be wary of what you eat: if you didn’t prepare it yourself, you don’t know if it’s safe or not. You really, really, don’t.

This is also a good reason to be polite when you’re making a phone order, and to tip well: trust me, everyone who has worked in a pizza shop for a significant amount of time know the problem customers, and know the stiffing customer. My old routing policy was this: people who tipped well got their food as quickly — and as hot! — as possible. Non tippers? I couldn’t care less if their food was hot, luke warm, or ice cold.