I’ve been downloading a lot of video for my iPod lately, to the point where I’m pretty certain I need an external hard-drive to hold it all. I don’t feel at all bad about any of these downloads, as the videos I’m DLing tend to be of things I already have on DVD — so far, the vids on my Nano are mostly episodes of Classic and Next-Gen Trek.

This morning, I rotated Yesterday’s Enterprise onto my iPod. Between coming into the Office, and during lunch, and waiting for the bus, and on the bus to the Metro, and then before clocking in at the Bookstore, and then waiting for the L2 home, and on the L2 home, I watched it twice. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen it, but I had some thoughts.

First, for those of you who forget: aired in the 3rd season of TNG, a time-rift brings the Enterprise-C from the past. This causes a change in history, in which the Federations are losing a war against the Klingons. Guinan has to convince Picard that the Enterprise-C must return in time to correct the timeline, and Picard’s security chief, Lt. Yar (who in the “real” timeline had been killed off in the first season) has to decide her own destiny.

Second: Wow, what the fuck is up with Riker and Picard? In the “real” timeline, they’re very cordial to each other — friends, even, although I don’t think Riker is ever on a first name basis with his commander. Here, there’s a very real tension between the two — Picard overrules Riker, Riker’s snappy with Picard, they’re sort of like that couple you work with who broke up and who claim that their breakup hasn’t affected their ability to work together, but totally has.

You know what really would’ve worked here? If the Picard of this timeline was an Admiral, hoisting his flag on the Enterprise, and Riker was the ship’s actual captain. Sure, some of the scenes would have to be revamped, but Riker’s attitude would be more believable with his admiral stepping on his authority as captain. (Besides: the Federation is at war, and Riker’s not a captain of something? In war, when you’re constantly losing officers, one would think you’d get promoted a hell of a lot faster).

Third: Wow! What a wonderful job the production crew did on revamping the Enterprise‘s bridge: added consoles, darker lighting, and the blue bridge dome. Ten-Forward still exists largely as before, although one wonders what, exactly, a battleship (which the E-D is identified as) needs with a gigantic luxury bar. For that matter — what the fuck is Guinan doing aboard? I mean, yes, obviously she plays an important role in the story, but how much finger twisting did Picard have to do to get her transfer approved?

Fourth: I understand that this episode probably just completely ate up the budget for several episodes alone, but the Enterprise-C bridge is pretty lame.

Decent episode — more than decent. Certainly an episode that got the immediate “classic” moniker. Scripts could’ve used maybe a tad more thought — seriously, are those guys in the background wearing Sam Brown phaser-holster belts?

I don’t really talk in great detail about what I do at my Office job. If asked to describe it in one sentence, I would say that I am a middleman of sorts, looking to put technology salespeople into touch with the management-level folks at large Fortune 1500 companies who would be in a decision to benefit from said technology.

Boiled down, it means I spend my days tracking direct phone numbers, working e-mails, and reporting structures. Fun? Not so much.

One of my colleagues, attempting to find a contact at a California company, sent an e-mail to an IT manager who’d left the company. My colleague has been forwarding the e-mail around the office, and it makes my blood boil. I found the guy’s blog, and I contemplating taking a screen shot and posting it to the comments — but I don’t want to make trouble.

Well, I mean, I do want to make trouble. But I’d rather do it anonymously. So, with all details removed to make the exchange anonymous:

Y’know what I don’t get? The guy had two full weeks to figure out a response. Usually, people calm down after that much time. Also, my colleagues name is pretty hard to mistake for Indian, it’s a very Chinese name.

I work on K Street. In the very “technical” sense, since my Office job is located in northern Bethesda (really, I should just say ‘Rockville’ and hide my shame). However, my part-time job is located on K Street. Well, okay, it’s located on L Street, but the mailing address is K!

So, since I’m sort-of-kind-of but not really a “K-Streeter”, I spend a lot of time downtown — to the tune of about 25 hours a week (hey, don’t laugh: that’s an extra $11k a year!) — and I am still astounded by the illusion of ‘choice’ provided by having the same few restaurants and banks on each and every blocks.

However, this post is about diarrhea, and how it applies to one chain, so I won’t wax on homogeneous office blocks, rather: WTF Subway.

Confession time: I’m trying to lose weight, and I’m trying to lose weight by watching what I eat, and exercising more. My primary form of exercise is walking, and the best time for me to do that is after working at the Bookstore on weeknights, and before and after working there on weekends. However, because I am on a budget, and because I am working (and also because our fridge broke), I often subsist on foods like Easy Mac and microwavable Chef Boyardee for “dinner.”

Sometimes? Frankly? It just ain’t enough, and I feel the need for a sub: and while I’d like to get something healthy, I usually go for a Spicy Italian on white, with American cheese, lettuce, onions, extra pickles, hots, old bay, mayo, and a dash of mustard and southwest sauce. Hmmm-mmm-good. And for subs? Really, only one place to go.

My first job, ever, was at a Subway in Columbia, MD. I worked there for a year and a half, and I was a “certified sandwich artist” my first day (which calls into question, ‘How do you become a CSA?’ Because there was really no certification what-so-monkey-lovin’-ever). It was many many years after I stopped working there before I started eating at a Subway again.

Truth? This is not actually about diarrhea. It is, however, about food poisoning, so my bowels and anus are involved, never fear.

There are two Subways close to the Bookstore. Well, I mean, there are quite a bit more — there’s a third on Farragut Square, and I think I saw one on 19th Street somewhere. However, there are two specific Subways I’m discussing here. One is on 18th Street, near M. The other is on L Street, just to the east of Connecticut Avenue.

I far prefer the 18th Street Subway. The staff knows me, and I know them. They usually know exactly what I want, which makes it sometimes troublesome when I decide to experiment and go with a tuna sub, or a pizza (which is surprisingly good — tastes like old school Pizza Hut deep-dish, before either their pies went downhill, or my taste improved).

However, I’ve noticed that within a time frame of anywhere from one second to five minutes after completing my meal, my stomach begins making certain complaints. Sometimes, I squat on the toilet and a little turd pops out amongst a whole ton of gas. Sometimes? I swear to god, last week I shat out the entire sub nearly whole. The scent coming up from the toilet bowl actually started to make me hungry again, but I didn’t bother to look down to see if the sub actually was whole, because ewww.

And then there’s the L Street store. I started making it my regular “go to” Subway, however, so far? No food poisoning. I’m so happy, I add a cookie to my sub, chips, and soda (oatmeal raisin, if you must know).

Look: I’ve worked in the food industry for long enough to recognize that something is foul at the 18th Street location. Obviously, I’m a sample base of only one person, but I can recognize that I experience food poisoning whenever I eat from that location, regardless of who prepares it.

I could point out that the staff frequently does not wash their hands between moving from the register to the prep-line, and that even though they wear gloves, the simple fact is to put the gloves on? They have to touch the gloves. However, they do this at L Street, too, so I don’t think this is the root of the problem.

The problem, if I had to guess, is most likely that the condiments (mayo, mustard & the like) are not being stored at a proper temperature — especially since I come in during late afternoon, they’ve probably been sitting out all day. I’d bet dollar to donuts the problem is that the refrigeration unit on the makeline is not sufficient to keep them cool, whereas I’ve seen staff at L Street keep the condiments in a fridge while they aren’t busy.

Problem solved, in my mind, and L Street started getting all my sub-eatin’ business.

And then. Just when I was starting to learn to love that store, with its crappy view … they put a sign up on their soda machine. “.50 refills.” In fairness, 18th Street did too, but theirs was: “Only one free refill.”

Ahh, the choice between drinking my syrup-poison-of-choice with abandon, or carefully rationing it knowing full well that I had no desire to shell out two quarters for more of it?

Well, the wallet won out over my digestive system. Food poisoning FTW.