Returning from Bristol on New Year’s Day, I was pretty much super elated to find my copy of Something Something Dark Side waiting in my mailbox. After a seven hour drive (which was great — no traffic, no cops!) and a grueling trip to a ridiculously packed IKEA*, I was excited to be able to relax** to Family Guy‘s spoof of The Empire Strikes Back.
And it was great. While I’m not (almost totally at all) a fan of Family Guy, I loved their Star Wars spoof, and the follow up was right on the money, a wonderful homage to the film. One of my favorite sequences parodied the Wampa — in this movie, replaced by Cookie Monster*** (with horns).
And then I came in to work today to find this image in my inbox from a colleague:
That seems a little, um, chilly for Hoth.
*How many people shop at IKEA at 5:30 on a Holiday Friday night? Apparently everyone. Place was fucking packed.
**When I say “relaxed”, what I mean was, “I put together an abstract Expedit bookshelf, then I redid my entire apartment to gain more shelf space and hide all those ugly wires.” But that’s a post for another day. And this, by the way, is why I refer to this new Expedit as “abstract”****. And this is what that wall of my apartment looks like:
I win at fitting lots of furniture into small spaces. WIN.
****Since most Expedit shelves are simply squares of the same size in different arrangements — for example, this is a 2×2 Expedit, and this is a 5×5 Expedit — this new one is just squares and rectangles of differing sizes. So I call it “Abstract”, because I can’t figure out WTF else to call it. y’know?
PS: Do you remember my trouble putting together a 2×4 Expedit last spring? Well, this Abstract Expedit went together in about 15 minutes flat. Even for me, that’s fucking impressive.
“But I’m not buying food or beverages,” the guy said.
I was at the registers at the Bookstore, trying to explain to the fellow trying to buy a title that I was going to have to charge him five cents for the bag — did he really want one?
Effective January 1, 2010, all businesses in the District of Columbia that sell food or beverages are required to charge customers five cents for each plastic bag used. Because the Bookstore has a cafe, and sells food and beverages* must charge a nickle per bag, even on non food purchases.
I tried to explain this to the customer, he began arguing with me and asked to speak to a manager. I told him he’d have more luck taking the matter up with Mayor Fenty, or his Councilperson, but I called the manager over, and he listened to the gentleman’s argument, and then told him that he’d have to take the matter up with Mayor Fenty, because, duh, the situation was out of our hands. And could he be so bold as to suggest the customer had had six months to register his complaint with the Mayor’s Office?
“You are making me pay a tax!”** he said.
No, dumbass — we are not making you pay a tax, the DC Council and our Mayor are making you pay a tax, if you opt for a plastic bag.
He opted for no bag.
Personally: I’m not getting the big deal about paying five cents for a bag. It’s one thing if you’re legitimately super-low income, and those nickels add up fast. Me? I’ve got three tomato sauce jars on a shelf overflowing with coins. The last time I bothered to roll them, I had like $10 in nickels alone.
I have, in my linen closet, a whole slew of reusable bags, mostly from Giant. (They were giving free bags away this weekend, also). I’m usually good at carrying a couple of these with me at all times — they fold nicely into my messenger bag, and frankly, whether I choose to walk home from the store, or take a bus, the handles of these bags are far more comfortable than those on plastic bags. I need to make a mental note to be more careful to ensure I have a couple of these with me.
Left for LeDroit makes the point that a lot of people who will be paying the tax (the proceeds of which are to be used to clean up the Anacostia) don’t litter, c’mon people: those bags end up somewhere. At the Bookstore, in our backroom, is an entire pallet of boxes filled with those bags. If this tax encourages people to use reusable bags, or to carry their purchases in their messenger bags or backpacks or briefcases, we won’t have to order as many plastic bags. Forget how happy our inventory team will be, since they’ll have more room in the backroom, but imagine how much less gasoline is going to be used transporting those huge, heavy boxes of bags to our store in the first place.
And — people? While I’m sure some of you are going to be totally shocked and surprised that something that’s been talked about since June has now become law, please don’t take your anger out on retail employees. It’s like getting a Dear John letter in your mailbox and punching out the mailman. Makes no sense.
*I assume this means retailers like Best Buy also must charge five-cents, since I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a soda machine in their queue before. After writing this, I read Left for LeDroit and they indicate Best Buy is also charging the bag tax.
**And I agree — way back in like ’02, Robert Ehrlich became Governor of Maryland and I don’t really recall what happened with taxes during his administration, but I do remember that state fees — from places like MVA — just double and tripled. Through the fucking roof, man. This is a total tax. But this, at least, is a bit more of an optional tax than, say, registering your car.
***Excepting people who have low income and who scrimp and save and for whom that extra five cents really does impact their budget.
