Real Klingons Vote Kerry

klingons.jpg

The incumbent has staked his campaign on the war on terror. But those who speak the language of the Trek warrior race–known to disdain dishonor, or quvHa’ghach–seem alienated by Iraq and other issues.

According to the poll of eight local Klingons, a whopping 75 percent support the Democratic nominee.

Two Klingons polled–or 25 percent–said they planned to write in Satan.

Bush scored an abysmal zero percent in the poll.

“A good war is based on honor, not deception,” says K’tok (Earth name: Clyde Lewis), a 40-year-old Klingon from Lair Hill. “The first warrior, President Bush, deceived us all with this war.”

“On the home world, if there had been a contested election between Gore and Bush, the honorable thing would be for Gore to kill Bush,” explained Khraanik (Earth name: Jason Lewis), a 38-year-old from Southeast Portland. “Or the other way around. And then ascend to the head of the High Council.”

It’s too early for Kerry to chill the ceremonial bloodwine, but Portland Klingons are clearly warming to the cerebral Massachusetts Democrat.

But for whom would Kor vote? For whom?