In my day, I had to walk ten miles – uphill! – in the snow to throw a punch

I guess this is what senior citizens mean when they talk about “the good old days”:

A brawl at the salad bar at Spring Haven Retirement Community sent three senior citizens to Winter Haven Hospital Sunday.

“This is the first time in 25 years I’ve ever heard of something like this happening,” said a shaken Jill Andrew, Spring Haven spokeswoman.

According to police, the battle erupted after fellow diners accused the man of foraging among the lettuce leaves on the salad bar. Words were exchanged leading to the ballroom boxing match. Witnesses say the man punched an 86-year-old accuser in the face and bit a 78-year-old resident on the right arm.

The bright side is … if this “rage” ever explodes to these guys while they’re driving, all you have to do is walk away. Because, let’s face it, a turtle walks faster than a senior citizen drives.