Pizza Rage

Barefoot Ramblings has some new definitions to add to your holiday lexicon, and many of them are, I’m sure, quite familiar to you and I.

I’d like to add one. It’s called “Crazy Pizza Guy Rage”, and it happens when the pizza guy gets a delivery order to the Walmart Pharmacy this very afternoon just past, gone bye-bye! And after Crazy Pizza Guy gets through the traffic, and finds a parking space, and gets past the crazy people standing around outside the store, and ducks past the greeter, and starts weaving through shoppers like Maverick through Russian MiGs, he encounters his arch-nemesis: shopping cart lady, barreling down the aisle screaming “OUT OF MY WAY WORTHLESS PEOPLE” with half a dozen kids in tow.

But Crazy Pizza Guy is on a mission, and dammit, will not yield, instead ‘directing’ the shopping cart into the side of the aisle, thereby avoiding a collision that would leave his leg aching the rest of the day. Crazy Pizza Guy walks on by, neglecting to flip the bitch the bird, gets his money and tip, and heads on out. Another successful mission accomplished.

Crazy Pizza Guy Rage also occurs when every other jackass in the state of Maryland who CAN NOT DRIVE TO SAVE THEIR WORTHLESS LIVES fails to drive in a proper manner, this usually involving people who forget to make their turn and then try to back up on busy roads or who pull out in front of oncoming traffic even though they stand a SNOWBALLS CHANCE IN HELL of getting to wherever they need to get, they just really want to get honked at until they GET THEMSELVES GONNERED!