DJH is STILL a dumbass

I did a Google search today for MaddatGM, you know, that group of stupid asshats who caught my ire Saturday. I found another article by David J. Hanson, who I also wrote about, and who is an individual who claims to have a PhD, yet doesn’t seem to comprehend that MADD is a group interested in preventing drunk driving – not bad driving.

Why doesn’t MADD care about the problem of speed? Just follow the money….

MADD has “cozy” relationships with major financial donors DaimlerChrysler, General Motors and Nissan. Actually, they’re more investors than donors. GM is a good example. “GM and MADD have formed a mutually profitable relationship: in return for GM’s financial support, MADD stays conveniently silent on traffic safety issues outside of ‘impaired driving.’“ Meanwhile, General Motors very aggressively promotes speeding as a pleasurable activity in order to sell its cars.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) not only remains silent about the danger of speed, but sponsors a dragster or race car in the National Hot Rod Association circuit that goes over 300 miles per hour. Actually, MADD isn’t a typical sponsor. Sponsors financially support a racing team in return for the right to put their logo or message on the team’s dragster. But in MADD’s case, it gets paid! As it proudly reports, “through corporate sponsorship of (the) racing team, MADD receives a generous contribution to help support MADD programs and services.”

Okay, David J. Hanson, holder of a fake PhD, let’s sit down and think about this for a moment, shall we?

Okay, thinking over, you’re a moron. I mean, really, it’s like asking the NRA why they don’t care about people who shoot other people with bows and arrows. It’s not what they’re about!

Oh, yeah, knock it off with your conspiracy bullshit.

In short: David J. Hanson, still a dumbass.

Teh Brain Energy!!!!

Did you see Robin Williams in Jakob the Liar? Okay, that voice when he’s pretending to be the BBC announcer:

“From the BBC“:

A campaign exhorting men to get a proper short-back-and-sides has been aired by state-run Pyongyang television.

The series is entitled Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle.

While the campaign has been carried out primarily on television, reports have appeared in North Korean press and radio, urging tidy hairstyles and proper attire.

If they saw my hair, they’d shoot me in the head instead of bothering to try to cut it. Eek!

Men should get a haircut every 15 days, it recommended.

Let’s see … three months for me!

Hat Tip: Rick.

The Hume Smackdown

When Dan Rather presented false evidence of George W. Bush’s lack of service in the national guard, the pressure of right-wing bloggers led to the firing of many of the segment’s producers, and Rather’s upcoming retirement.

So when Brit Hume starts makin’ up shit on the air, it is only right, just, and fair, to smack that bitch down.


On February 3rd, Hume intentionally manipulated the words of the 32nd president, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, to make it appear as if FDR supported privatization of social security. This is a brazen falsehood. President Roosevelt’s grandson, James Roosevelt Jr., describes Hume’s journalistic malfeasance as an “an outrageous distortion”.

Head over to Oliver Willis for more of the smackdown.



This was the picture Kelli Davis had taken for her high school’s yearbook. In case you missed the obvious – she’s a girl, in a tuxedo. It’s horribly offensive, I know.

The picture was pulled from the yearbook by the school principal, Sam Ward. His reasoning? According to USA Today, “because Kelli Davis was wearing boy’s clothes.”

According to Local6:

Kelli, a straight-A student with no discipline problems, is a self-proclaimed lesbian. She said she was uncomfortable to have her chest exposed in the photo.

This might be a shock for Sam Ward, but women wear “boy’s clothes” all the time. It’s quite acceptable these days, especially with the amazing and radical notion of ‘progress’ and ‘equality.’

Look, I could understand if Sam “I’m living in the 1950’s, woohoo!” Ward removed a picture of a boy in a dress. After all, only Mel Gibson and the Scottish get away with that shit, but – barring a picture of a girl in a tuxedo because “it’s boy’s clothes”? What the fuck, man?

I bet he walks down main street screaming at all the teenage girls, “You’re wearing slacks! And a t-shirt! OH MY GOD HAVE YOU NO DECENCY WOMAN!!!!!”

Also, Keri Sewell, good for you. She was the student editor of the yearbook, “fired after refusing her adviser’s order to take the picture out.” Takes guts to do the right thing, and she deserves points for that.

Sam Ward: you’re an asshat.

Kelli Davis: you go right on wearing “boy’s clothes.” All the cool girls are doing it.

Hat Tip: Chepooka, whom I have it on good authority wears “boy’s clothes.”

Posted in Sad


MADD = Mothers Against Speeding Drivers? Only if they’re drunk, dummy!

We’re all, I think, familiar with MADD. Y’know, they’re the assholes who think that drunks shouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car, at least according to these fine folks.

An association of – guess it! – liquor store and bar owners has decided that MADD has become a pro-prohibition organization, and are angry that GM gives money to MADD. First off, look, everyone in this country knows what happened the last time we decided prohibition was a good idea. There’s no chance that all of the asshat politicos would ever get the support they needed to reinstate it, even assuming they through it would be a good idea.

From the MADDatGM site:

But GM and MADD have formed a mutually profitable relationship: in return for GM’s financial support, MADD stays conveniently silent on traffic safety issues outside of “impaired driving.” GM, meanwhile, is vociferous in its opposition to any drinking before driving, buying itself immunity from MADD’s potential criticism for encouraging speeding and distracted driving.

Yeah, but is MADD really a “traffic safety organization” as they claim? I mean, I guess, but isn’t their focus on drivers who are impaired by being drunk? They’re aren’t MAPWTOTCPWDEITAS*, now ARE they?

According to the Bradenton Herald (thanks Google!):

MADD spokeswoman Heidi Castle says preventing driver distraction is not MADD’s focus.

“Our mission is to prevent drunken driving. We want people on the road that are safe. We are not against drinking by people who are over age 21. This group is just trying to scare people because of our effort to lower the blood-alcohol standard to 08,” said Castle.

Just in case there is some confusion, on the MADD home page, you can find their “official position statements.” Here we go:

Positions from MADD’s National Board of Directors on Issues Involving Enforcement, including: Sobriety Checkpoints, Preliminary Breath Testers and Passive Alcohol Sensors, .08 BAC per se Laws, Mandatory BAC Testing for Death and Serious Injury, Enforcement Technology, Drug Recognition Expert Program, and Open Containers in Vehicles.

Do YOU see anything in that about speeding, or talking on the cell phone, or eating while you’re driving, or getting a blowjob from your girl while driving? No. Well, unless you’re doing that while drunk. Which is, again, just to drive the point home, why they’re Mothers Against Drunk Driving. See, the DRUNK part is the opperative word here.

Oh, a search on Google turned up this brain-dead moron (David J. Hanson, who claims to have a PhD, in what, I ask? Stupidity?) who apparently also doesn’t know that MADD stands for Mothers Against Drunk Driving and goes off on a riff about them, um, not being interested in traffic accidents not involving alcohol:

When a MADD leader was asked about how traffic fatality statistics involving cell phone use compared to those involving drunk drivers, he tellingly replied “I have absolutely no idea, nor do I care.” On CNN’s Crossfire, the President-elect of MADD refused to discuss cell phones and the traffic fatalities they cause. She said “We’re not here to talk about cell phones. We’re here to talk about alcohol.” Following more questions about how cell phones impair driving, the MADD leader snapped “I’m not going to talk about cell phones.” Similarly, a MADD lobbyist was quoted on the program as saying “I don’t care about deaths from cell phones.”

Note to the author of that piece: dude, you’re an idiot.

Anyway, back to MADDatGM. Where were we? Right.

“This group is just trying to scare people because of our effort to lower the blood-alcohol standard to 08.”

Now, why would they be trying to do that? I’m guessing they’re afraid less people are going to indulge in drinky-drinky because of a fear of being arrested, so their answer is to combat an organization that according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is responsible for reducing “the number of alcohol-related deaths … from 26,173 in 1982 to 17,013 in 2003.”

Oh? The best part of this story? According to The Detroit Free Press, “MADD notes GM specified that its money go to underage-drinking prevention for three years and the next two years to help people harmed in drunken driving.”

What a bunch of assholes, and certainly interesting enough for Digger’s Around the Blogosphere! (I bring out the snark, baby).

Spread the word on these creeps. Tell them that the CPWKWAAI** is on to them and we’re laughing in their faces.

For More:

You’re not going to get too many politicians backing looser standards for drunk driving and looser tort laws on a bar’s culpability in drunk driving. While more people drink booze than not, the people who’ll vote on their right to get sloshed is less than the folks who want to encourage responsible drinking.

Mark Byron

MADD does want to arrest social drinkers who drive after having consumed enough alcohol to impair their ability to operate a car safely. That is what we should all want.

Max’s Mewsings

They are trying to intimidate GM because they support MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) because it hurts their sales of alcohol!

Simone’s LJHaus

It seems a fair assumption to me, if not fact, that no one is better off after a few drinks and nearly all of us are much worse. It is presumptuous and selfish to think, in an inebriated state, you can make a safe and accurate decision about your ability to drive.

*Mothers Against People Who Talk On Their Cell Phones While Driving Even If They Are Sober

**Concerned People Who Know What an Acronym is

The Deli is Bad!

Sometimes stories need to be changed in their telling to make them interesting. For example, it is far more interesting to say “My sister lives in Hawaii, and she was at the beach and overhead some tourists looking at the ‘Tsunami Warning’ poster and saying: ‘Wow, what’s wrong with their salami?'”

Now, in reality, watching a special on tsunamis on the History Channel, I learned that a tsunami hit Hawaii in the 1960’s, and as a result Hawaii has a tsunami warning system with posters advising people what to do displayed in public areas like beaches. One Hawaiian official associated with the warning system observed that some people didn’t know what a tsunami was, and thought it was a deli meat.

Of course, after the disaster in southeast Asia and Africa, I think no one will (for a few months, anyway) forget what a tsunami is. And just to drive home the notion that people could ever have thought, “Oh, a big giant wave coming at me! I’m going to stand here and take pictures!”, you should click here.


Mock Snowstorm?

If you thought this area was bad when it came to snowstorms, and the ensuing rush to the grocery store, and the total lack of ability to drive in the stuff, be glad you didn’t live in Raleigh, which is contemplating a dress-rehersal blizzard to prepare everyone for the next time it snows.

The city ground to a halt as workers and schoolchildren tried to get home in the midst of a midday snowfall. Officials, relying on forecasts of only a dusting of snow, didn’t send out road-treatment trucks until after the snow was falling and the streets were jammed with vehicles.

Only a little snow fell, but as it hit the roads’ cold surfaces, it was melted by the friction of car tires and instantly refroze into a sheen of black ice. Drives that usually take minutes turned into ordeals lasting into the wee hours, and 3,000 pupils had to spend the night at their schools.

I think the assorted, random comments the Mayor’s office recieved were just the absolute funniest.

“You guys must be useless,” wrote Ashlea Simpson from Washington state. “An inch of snow IS a mere dusting. Hope you survive this ‘disaster.’ “

Spelling aside, I hope this isn’t Ashlee “My dad hired a voice coach who cost forty-two hundred bucks a session and he walked out after an hour” Simpson, and if it isn’t, how fucking pissed do you think this woman is when she has to tell everyone, “No, I didn’t fucking blame my band you douche” when she’s writing a check?

“God is in control of weather and HE can change it as quickly as HE pleases,” wrote Susan Reynolds from San Antonio. “In fact, in the Bible it says that the weather will be crazy in the last days.”

Soon Jesus Christ will walk along the land and we’ll all be proven wrong under the Christian-sponsored smackdown. Yeee-hah!