i hate me and this is why i hate me

I kept telling myself, “You aren’t going to do this. Dude, you are up to your fucking neck in debt, don’t fucking do this.”

But then the nice big man put some papers down to me, and I signed my name once or twice, and I, uh, yeah.

I don’t really know what came over me. I was drooling over this rockin’ Jeep Sunday while driving up to Scranton. And Gary and I had been talking about Jeeps for the last two weeks – he’s pissed, bought the Unlimited (stretch Wrangler) close to a year ago, it was automatic only, then. Now its got a manual tranny, so he’s a little pissed. He was all, “You should buy a 6-cyl. Brand new, hooked up, 20k.” And I was all, “Oh, they’re twenty-five starting, easy.”

But, no, Gary – of course – has a buddy, same dude he bought the Unlimited from. The guy happened to stop in Tuesday. So I made some inquiries — “Not going to do it yet,” I told him repeatedly. “Not until November, earliest.” But he was eager, and nice, and a Jeep fan, and asked me questions – remember I did my credit score? “No problem,” he tells me. “Easy financing. You got two grand for a deposit?”

Sure, in savings. Um. Right, so I don’t have a savings account anymore? Well, I do, but my balance is like five bucks … after the cashier’s check for the downpayment and all.

You getting where I’m going with this?

I just bought an ’05 Jeep Wrangler, 6-speed, CD, fuck man, SILVER!!!!!! I mean, at once I’m all DUDE! and MORON! and DUDE! and MORON! I’m leaning more towards the moron side. I just spent two hours driving the fucking thing all over the place, and of course it was like damn thirty bucks to fill the tank back up. Oh, and plus? I fucking called out of work — at the last moment — to drive up to Bel Air (not even knowing if Gary’s pal was working) to see, hmm, maybe I can drive home with a Wrangler?

My payment is $327.85 a month. Thank GOD I don’t have my first payment due until mid May. Which is like the only fucking good news going on here … looks like I’m going back to working all day, every day … who needs down time, right? Right?

I feel fucking horrible. Plus, I have to get a ride back up to Bel Air to get my Celica. Because, see, I didn’t sell the car … HAH! I bought the Jeep as a SUNDAY DRIVER. To rarely drive. I spent twenty grand on a car I’m going to drive ONCE A FUCKING WEEK. I mean, who am I kidding, I’m going to drive it more than that, I’m just not going to use it for work, what with gas being fucking outrageous.

Oh, yeah, plus Andy? My insurance agent/former co-worker? Fuck man. I mean, its not a huge increase – not as much as I feared but daaaamn I am just fucked.

there woulda been more pictures but i didnt change the batteries after i got back from Scranton and I didn’t charge em either fuck i love that Jeep!

Is it possible to return cars? Because I heard their value like dropped 99% the second you drive them off the lot. I am in serious effin’ need of a debt consolidation loan. Or a bullet to the brain. Or someone to just step in and stop me from making these stupid fucking decisions!

(Oh! Oh! Plus? Dating someone – yeah, I know, I’m surprised too – and called her, and she was all, “where are you?” and I was all, “Uh, work?” and she believed me. If I’d told her I was buying a Jeep she woulda kicked my ass from Lauraville!!! eeep!!!!)

(Want a laugh? I once thought buying the first two seasons of the Dukes of Hazzard on DVD was a bad decision. Wake up, Jeff: that was $53 on credit card. Easy to pay off, if you just fucking concentrate once in an effin’ blue moon. TWENTY-K on a car when you’re already a shitload in debt? just double it, sure, smart plan, ass!)

Why am I such a fuck up?

(Tomorrow, I’m taking the top down and the doors off…aaaargh)

(anyone want to steal a jeep??? please????)

0 thoughts on “i hate me and this is why i hate me

  1. I’m not going to lecture you, but here’s what I think you should do: sell the celica, use that money to pay off more of the financed Jeep, refinance the Jeep to lower the payments, watch your insurance go down, and be slightly less financially fucked than you are now. Think of it this way, the money you save on insurance every month will pay for gas.



    I was supposed to buy a new car first! :P


    I would not have kicked your ass.

  2. I agree with Rachael 100%. Is the Celica paid off? If not – dump it!!! I would use the money from the Celica to pay off your highest percentage interest first. I’m guessing that’s your credit card debt and the interest on that is higher than a new car loan.

    I have an MBA and I’m not afriad to use it.

    PS Cool Car!!!

  3. You know I would personally come over and try to kick your ass, but I live 3K miles away. :)

    I agree with Linda that you should sell your Celica and pay off your highest interest debt first. Although you don’t want to be driving a gas hog around delivering pizzas all the time.. You should try it for a month, and see how much extra gas you go through.

    All in all, a classic spur-of-the-moment purchase. Hell we’ve all done it, just STOP spending money!

  4. Speak for yourself, Tron. A classic spur-of-the-moment purchase for me is buying an extra pair of sunglasses I don’t need.

    Snay, I’m not going to offer you suggestions on how to unfuck yourself. I don’t have an MBA so I probably couldn’t help you anyway. Enjoy your purchase.

  5. Snay, really. If Rachael won’t kick your ass from Lauraville than I will. There is madness and then there is madness.

    I don’t blame you for buying the Jeep. What is madness is that you plan on keeping the Celica. Rachael is right. Sell it and keep the Jeep as your primary transport. Refinance. The money you save on payments and insurance will more than pay for the amount of money you spend on gas.

    Being poor is not fun. Being in debt is no fun. Working your ass off all the time to pay for your debt is no fun. But being poor, in debt, and working your ass off all the time to pay for your debt is a tripple whammy.

  6. Oh, man, I SO know what you’re talking about!

    We were hoping to make it with his car until this October, when my car would finally be paid off. Instead, his car shit the bed in December…one week before Xmas we buy a new car. Month and a half later I’m at a dealership looking for an Integra just for shits and giggles and end up trading in my old Civic for a 2001 Civic. SILVER. OMG! CD PLAYER! WOOT!


    At least I got my car payment down below $300. Got financing on my own at a decent rate, even with my black credit. And the insurance didn’t jump but $80.

    Sell the Celica. Pay off the credit cards. Yadda yadda. ;)

  7. Oh. Heavens.

    I’d just like to point out that I’m 33 and I have never, ever purchased a new car.

    Gah. Poor thing though, I won’t abuse you because there isn’t much you can do.

    But just remember, there is secured debt and unsecured debt. There is investment debt and sucker pants debt. Try, in the future, to stay away from the sucker pants debt. What you paid for your jeep is half of my monthly mortgage payment. And when I sell my house, I will, God Willing, get back more than I paid.

  8. You bought a Jeep? NEW?! You are aware that there’s about a bajillion (yes, thats an accrate numer) of the damn things around here used right? You are correct about the value dropping. Thousands as soon as you drive it off the lot.

    And I have to agree with DaB. Holy shit tron… if buying a new car is a ‘spur-of-the-moment’ purchase for you, what the king of purchase do you actually plan?

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