druank blodgin (hpy hoUR Thusdynight for charyti)

Hah. Sorry to get your hopes up Zenchick — I’m sober, but that monsterous Oktoberfest glass of Sam Adams I started the evening with* fucked me up something quick. But I had four and a half hours of food, coke, and water to clear my system.

This was probably the best turnout since my first Blogger Happy Hour back in March. Tons of people! Even a few stalkers – I mean, no, no stalkers. Frank, non-blogger (soon to be?) but Baltimore Blogger Reader showed up and said many kind things about my blog which made my face turn bright red because praise makes me blush. Thank you, sir – and while you can’t bookmark his blog yet, you can visit his son’s.

Also a shout out to Eric, and to the short girl who I thought went to Towson.

Also: Rachel, Russell, … okay, blanking on names here, you know who you are, I took a photo of you and Russell!!! DAMN MY BRAIN!!!!

Anyway, back to the start of the happy hour …

After my medical terminology class (19 out of 20 on the test, I need to score a 5 on the final to pass) I headed down past MICA to pick up Broadsheet. My class is up past Pimlico, and I’d offered to swing by her work to give her a ride, but she said she’d get out early. Hah. I was there for like thirty minutes before she arrived, but it was a beautiful day and she has lawn furniture and I had a well-worn copy of the funniest book ever written.

Made good time getting down to the bar … I’m going to call it “Slate” because I can’t be bothered to look up the correct spelling. Took a seat in front of the donation bucket and dropped in some green. We were early but people started drifting in, the total as best as I can remember it list of attendees (including non-bloggers above):

Standing Cheese!
LiveinLove! (Speaking of LiL, you can find the start of the phrase “Sexy Drunk!” here).
Common Wombat! Well, no, but his wife S., honorary blogger? I say … yes!
With a Side of Gravy and his lovely wife.
Epiphany in Baltimore.

The hosts, of course, Jennetic and Zenchick. Jennetic is such a liar – red boots my fat ass.

Jason J. Thomas and K-Mart got into an arguement over which one of them was more Irish. K-Mart won when he admitted he preferred mashed-potato-wrestling to the more common mud-wrestling.

Later, Anonymous Coworker was talking with someone when K-Mart gently ran his hands through ACW’s lucious golden locks. K-Mart leaned in close and breathed gently on ACW’s neck. ACW, mistaking K-Mart for ACWF (standing next to me and trying not to laugh), said, “Darnit ACWF, stop! I’m getting a hard on!”

Also present were ACW blog-stars Mokiejovis & Mail Order Bride. Also present was a friend of either M.O.B. or ACWF named R. Somehow I wound up in the middle of a conversation between M.O.B. and/or ACWF and R. They were situated far enough away they couldn’t hear the other(s) calling for their attention, so I would wind up tapping one or the other on the shoulder so they would know they were wanted.

Neckbone and Ice-Queenie’s babysitting arrangements fell through and they thought they were going to have to skip the happy hour. Then they decided the Boy was old enough to start drinking. By the way, Queenie, you left your cigarettes on the bar … I started passing them out and scoring generousity points from drunk smokers. Seriously … they’re gone.

Fruit Loops and Porn‘s Bonanza Jelly Bean is afraid of squirrels. The squirrels are out to get her. To kill her. They’re stalking her. BJB? This is for you.

Seadragon also had a beer in the monsterous Oktoberfest mug. Seriously, the thing was half her size. (Hey, can I post that photo?) Methinks Seadragon also drunk-dialed the absent JWER with both my cell phone and encouragement. More surprising than any of this? That she actually came to a happy hour.

The list of course wouldn’t be complete without mentioning A Fool’s Fate, who did discuss her moving plans to Seattle. We’ll miss her, but I think we’d all feel silly if we didn’t mention what happened the last time people tried to move to the West Coast during winter.

On a completely honest note, on at least two occasions after going to the bathroom, my belt decided not to fasten properly. Perhaps I need a new belt. In any case, if you noticed me suddenly tugging my shirt down, its because I was standing having a conversation with someone (generally a woman someone) when I realized my belt was undone. Relax: fly was up, buttons were buttoned. Just one of those things. I need a new belt.

Someone (Jennetic?) mentioned early on that I was being very quiet. I replied that I’m usually very quiet. She said something along the lines of, “No … you ain’t.” Not on a blog, sure, but in real life my mouth just don’t like to work.


Anyway, if you missed this one, shame on you, you, you, … ok, stopping now, but you know who you are. But! Prepare yourself for the next, and dude? I’m talking to you when I say take off from work now.

FYI – I have spoken permission from the two beauties in this photo to post this photo:


I’m going to caption it, “Sexy Drunk!”

*Lie. I started with a Bass.

(PS – I didn’t mean to forget you, y’know, if I did).


Seadragon & The Beer That Was Half Her Size: