Kick-Ass is pretty KICK ASS


So Friday night I went to Brickskeller after work to visit with some friends and former coworkers. Because I was early, I stopped past Second Story to browse. I was actually looking for a copy of Calvin Trillian’s Tepper Isn’t Going Out. Alas, I’d left the sticky note with that information on my desk at work, so I just wound up browsing the fiction shelves.

I did not find the book. (Probably because for some reason I thought the author’s last name started with an N, not a T, so that’s where I was looking).

But on my way out, I spied a hardbound graphic novel of Kick-Ass on a table, and I thought, “Well, the trailer was kind of fun, why the hell not?”

So I bought it, and after a wonderfully low-key evening of gentle drinking and catching up and long overdue hugs, I made my way home and curled up in bed with Kick-Ass.

And – wow. It’s pretty, well, kick ass. (C’mon – you saw that coming from a mile away, or at least, from the post title).

Kick-Ass is a series written by Mark Millar, who also was responsible for Wanted. Not the crappy movie with Big-Lips-What’s-Her-Face and curving bullets and Morgan “I’m only in this for the pay check” Freeman, but the bad ass comic book about a bunch of evil people who go around doing pretty much what-the-fuck-ever they want … right up until they’re attacked by even eviler people, at which point, well, if you’re not an evil person, you’re fucked, and if you’re an evil person, you’re probably going to get fucked too, except you’ve got at least a minimum chance to fuck someone back. Anyway, great graphic novel — still trying to remember who I loaned it too …

So, Kick-Ass is about a kid named Dave Lizewski who’s a bit of a loser at school and decided to put on a wet suit and go kick some ass. And … he fails. Spectacularly. Over and over and over again. But he keeps going back out, and getting himself in more and more trouble, and just when it looks like his life is about to actually come to a pretty gruesome end …

… he’s saved by a ten year old with swords. Who fucking butchers everyone in the room — slicing one guy’s head in two, while sprouting dialogue like “Okay, you cunts. Let’s see what you can do!” and “bad news, you sorry sack of shit.” Ten. Years. Old. Wow! Well, consider me hooked. And it only gets better, although I’m reluctant to spoil it for you so that you can be like, “Holy crap! This is great!” when … well, trust me: it’s a fun read.

And then I watched the trailer again and, oh, crap, is that Nick Cage playing Big Daddy? Well, fuck me with a fork.

Because while I certainly enjoy certain Nick Cage films, like The Rock, most others I could give two shits about. In fact, if you want to pretty much guarantee that I won’t go see a movie, or rent it, stick Nick Cage in it. And, honestly, lately John Cusack is trending the same way.

I’m still going to go see this, though. I just hope the movie Kick-Ass wasn’t raped in the same way the movie Wanted was: dammit, I want to see sickening violence!

(Please do not actually fuck me with a fork.)

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