Look, there’s something you should know: the guy, at the end of the line? Holding the sign that says “End of Line”? He’s like the last person in the entire store who has any input on how the signing is run, thus, critiquing him for not suggesting an alternate procedure for people to be able to listen to Sarah Silverman speak, and then line up for signings, are possibly ideas better presented to someone else.
Also: totally not our fault. Silverman arrived, was told she had to talk, and said: “WTF.” I don’t actually know what she said, but she was just prepared to show up and sign. It was The Washington Post (or perhaps The Express) that mentioned she would be speaking (where they got that info, nobody knows – or if they do, aren’t admitting to that knowledge) and things spiraled out of control from there.
Actually, as things went, the event was pretty low key. She signs remarkably fast, and even though everything started a little behind schedule, she signed closed to 300 books in a little under an hour.
The night was remarkable for some other reasons, however:
1. A rare sighting of Who Invented Roses? The last time I saw her was when she stopped in for the Chelsea Handler event, but she assured me, no, she wasn’t here for Ms. Silverman. In any case, it’s always good to see her.
2. Years and years and years ago I worked with a guy named Matt at a Domino’s pizza shop in Jacksonville, MD (i.e.: bumfuck, MD). Well, I was standing at the End of the Line, when who should appear? Matt. He recognized me too, which was kind of odd seeing as how the last time I’d seen him (probably four or five years ago), I had hair on my head and none on my face, and now am the reverse. This is also hilarious as I’d just thought about him for the first time last week as I re-read my Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy collection, which I’d lent him when he was living on the land at the Loch Raven Reservoir. He’d returned it to me considerably dirtier, and without its dust jacket. ‘
3. Remember when I was bitching about not being paid as much as new people? Alas, my attempt to contact the CEO bore no fruit. However, pigeon-holing the DM and making my case? Totally worked. Just gotta make sure he follows through on my behalf.
4. And finally. As the event was running down, and Silverman was signing stock, one of the bike couriers who hangs around in the store started getting in her face, and our events manager tried to block him. Mr. Courier — either drunk, crazy, all of the above — didn’t take kindly to this, and it is for this reason — the crazy drunk people who want to start shit — that we have security on hand for events. He backed down real quick when the rent-a-cops and store security came up. Then he gave us evil looks as he walked out of the store as one of our LP (Loss Prevention) staff lost control: “The whole event, no problems, THE LAST GUY? THE LAST GUY HAS TO BE A DOUCHEBAG?”
I also have a souvenir of the night, the sign that I was carrying all night (now including Sarah Silverman’s grammatical corrections and approving signature):
If you have absolutely no idea who Sarah Silverman is, I suggest you watch these two videos (in order):
And the hilarious (and much funnier) response: