I Say: Let Michael Bay Film on The National Mall!

I liked Transformers. I haven’t seen Transformers 2, and no intention to do so, and I probably won’t go see Transformers 3, either, which Bay is gearing up to shoot. Oh, and Michael Bay. I loved Bad Boys. The Rock. Hell, even Armageddon. And then there was Pearl Harbor. Yech. And Bad Boys II. Blech. And really, dude, you just ain’t the Michael Bay I loved as a teenager.

So, Transformers 3. Bay’s getting ready to film it, and he wants to film part of it here in Washington, DC, on the National Mall. But the Park Service pretty much told him to go fuck himself after they saw his plan:

A rep for Paramount said “We’ve gone from two weeks to 10 days to three days to seven days; I don’t really know.”

According to a spokesman for the National Park Service, Michael Bay and his crew “have asked to do some things that simply are not done on the National Mall.” Among them: staging a car race along the gravel paths of National Mall and using artificial light to enable filming at night.

“A lot of this could be more appropriately shot in a Hollywood studio,” the spokesman said. “The National Mall is not an area in which Americans come to see high-tech action movies being shot.”

And I tend to agree with the Park Service on this. People want to come see America’s gorgeous front yard.

Well … except it isn’t really gorgeous, is it?

Those ugly plastic fences. The brown grass. The Jefferson Memorial (which is sinking into the Tidal Basin!)

The Mall needs some Tender Loving Care.

Wait, some? It needs a gross metric shitload of TLC.

So, I say: let Bay film on the Mall!

But! But! BUT! With a catch: when he’s done, not only does the studio have to pay to replace everything they fucked up, they’ve gotta pay a whole lot more to help fix the place up. Surely there’s a multi-million dollar project somewhere needing funding, and surely Paramount can cough up the dough out of their coffers.

Let Bay film. And make sure he coughs up a few millions for an improvement project somewhere.

(Somewhere = on the Mall).